The Noble Savage 2.0

Epilogue...

2011-12-07T19:10:00.001-06:00

None of this was possible without the help and support of a few very dedicated individuals and volunteers. We put together a very effective war machine out of nothing and went after the best of them and I believe held his feet to the fire. Bob, Stew, Sylvie, and Raye – every commander needs great generals and you four proved your worth beyond four stars! Glen, Celena, Chris, Myrna, Theresa, Amiee, Randell, Mira, Ang, Al, and all the others – I am in your debt for your dedication, belief and actions you have shown me. Thank you to my Band as well for allowing me the time, grace, and support to see me work on this election. Thank you all. Without you, none of this was possible. All in all, I was amazed at the support I recieved, businesses gave, organizations rallied around me, and people I never expected to jump on board were encourgaging me. It was a very exciting time for me but in the end Warren recieved 2504 votes while I ended up with 1721 votes. A difference of 783 votes and a more than respectable finish.

So where did it all go wrong?

2011-12-05T07:00:00.001-06:00

I didn’t go after the Indian vote like I should have. I took them for granted. That was my mistake. Sad really, I thought they’d come and support an Indian showing initiative in this so I decided to focus on consolidating my support among the other cultures, Caucasian, Asian, Middle-Eastern etc and to my credit (if I do say so myself)I was able to secure a large portion of this vote. I could get them to believe in me, but was not able to get my own peoples support. Even though I did get the support of some of my First Nation friends, I know a lot of my potential aboriginal supporters went over to Warren’s camp on Election Day simply because they believed I was nothing more than a token to the Saskparty. I know this was the perfect storm to take this seat and I don’t know if there will ever be another opportunity as good as this one was. The NDP will have another leader in place next election, a different platform, and Warren will have had four more years to show he’s not taking Elphinestone-Centre for granted. It’s an impossible seat, but I’ve still not looked at the final results to see where our strength came from and where we made in roads and even won polls (God bless the seniors). I’ve done better than anyone else has in this riding and I’m proud of that. Will there be a next time? I don’t know, but I know that when given the chance I will step up to the challenge rather than sit back and critize. And for doing that I make no apologies.

Reality Check...

2011-12-02T07:00:00.000-06:00

I had an opportunity to sit at the table. And lost. Oh well, I threw all I could at this election and came up short with 39% of the popular vote – closer to Mr McCall than anyone has ever gotten. I will not hang my head over the outcome nor be ashamed of the party I chose to represent. As First Nations we have a lot to work for and we need to understand our rights, issues and needs are more important than one political party but rather we need to make sure our voice is heard and influencing every level of government regardless of who is in power. The NDP claim to represent us but as the last four years has demonstrated here in Saskatchewan being in opposition has very little effect on government policy. And will have even less this time. But instead of waiting for ‘our party’ to form government again we need to be in those corridors of power, sitting at the table, bringing our concerns to the forefront and raising our rights to every level of government. Not just with the political parties we feel cozy with but with every party that comes to power, otherwise we’re just playing their game of divide and conquer. Our thinking needs to be larger than the political spectrum, it needs to longer than the mandate of any elected official and it needs to be achievable for our children who will pick up the torch of progress down the road. And isn’t that what this is all for?

Perception...

2011-11-30T07:00:00.000-06:00

In my foolishness I thought I’d be able to overcome what people thought about the Saskparty because of who I was and my reputation. I believed I could but I forgot one thing – I had an opponent fighting to save his seat. You see what I’ve learned about perception is that people will believe whatever it is they want to believe, regardless of what you believe. Changing peoples minds is a big part of politics. I was told that the Saskparty was the party of the rich, NDP of the working class, Saskparty was racist, NDP was inclusive, and Saskparty didn’t care about the poor. AND I was picked by this party to lasso the Indian vote, (as an aside I’d like to comment that I was unable to get most Indians to vote for various reasons, believe me – I tried) but I would be nothing more than a token Indian in a white party having no voice and no power. Yet we elected a man with eight of his friends to somehow oppose this government. Kind of a token opposition, but I digress. During the 9 or so months that I spent getting to know the Saskparty I was able to build a positive repertoire with many of the members, I attended every caucus retreat I was invited to, made great impressions at the convention, and gained the respect of the party brass during the election for my hard work and dedication to winning. But none of that mattered because the perception was that I was with the wrong party. I never believed that, don’t believe that, and will not believe that. It’s a party made up of people who have ideas, a party I had a chance to be a part of and I believe influence.

Why Did I Do It...

2011-11-28T07:00:00.000-06:00

An impossible goal, little support, and nagging questions as to my own potential worth as a candidate, what did I have to gain? This is where people disagree with me, I’ve lived and worked in Elphinestone-Centre for over 15 years now and its been an area I’ve come to love. I’ve eaten at the soup kitchens when I lived in the basement of a church, wandered aimlessly downtown when I was younger, worked at various jobs in the area, got my GED in the area, did different projects with different organizations in the area, lived in the area as I got my university degree, and continue to live in the area today. You see, I believe I understand the area, the needs and situations of the people because I’ve lived them myself. It wasn’t that I wanted to bring oppressive restrictive policies that would hold people back in the area, I wanted good things in the area, I wanted positive development and I wanted to bring change to the area that would help people grow and prosper with the rest of Saskatchewan. If you really believe in change, you have to be willing to do something different. The old NDP have held on to this area now for over 60 years, and it is considered NDP holy ground, and a fortress of socialism – and yet the mean income of the area is one of the lowest in Saskatchewan, an area rift with social issues, and crime. While not all these issues can be laid at the feet of the NDP MLA’s who served the area I believed a change by someone who cared for the people of the area couldn’t be bad. A different direction by a different party would be a good change. I thought.

The Fact of the Matter was...

2011-11-25T07:00:00.001-06:00

I knew running for the Saskparty in Elphinestone-Centre was going to be rough, I had no delusions, I expected much of my aboriginal support to leave me at the start. And I was right, but I had thought that over the course of the election I would win them back. Being politics I knew people would get nasty and call me ugly names or send me trite messages of venom spewed hate. And I was right, people got ugly as soon as I dropped my name out there and for the most part didn’t let up until after the final vote was counted and I had lost. People told me they were ashamed of me, I was racist against my own people, thought I was stupid, and any host of other things they could think of. So I deleted messages, smiled and thanked people, set myself up as a solid rock ready for anything that might crash against me. I had a goal, I had focus, and I was not going to back off. It was this mentality that I moved forward, it was this stubbornness that kept me going, it was this determination carried me through the worst criticisms. And when that eventually failed (and it did), the continued prayers and faith of my friends and family picked me up and set me back on my path. I was determined to finish what I started.

No turning back...

2011-11-23T07:00:00.000-06:00

I talked to family, friends, and people I barely knew about the choice I had to make. Either a riding for the NDP that I had no history in and I knew would be a hard fight against an extremely popular MLA who was also the Speaker of the House, Mr Don Toth, or a riding for the Saskparty in which I had worked in for the last 10 years at various organizations and accomplishing many events, programs and had a good history with, again against a very popular sitting MLA. It was a choice I’m sure many of my critics have never found themselves in. I could either run for a party in which people would likely say, ‘oh Bill’s running for the NDP! Good for him, I hope he does well!’ and know I was going to lose or ‘oh Bill’s running for the Saskparty! What a sell out! I wonder how much money they promised him, I can’t believe he’s running for the oppressors! What’s wrong with him?’ and maybe have a hope of winning. It was a riding I had worked in, a people I knew and loved, ian area I felt I could be a good representative. Now, Elphinestone-Centre has always been an NDP stronghold having never elected any other party to serve. After much consideration, advice, and prayer I made my choice.

A New Choice...

2011-11-21T10:14:00.000-06:00

Warren McCall is a great man, works hard and is dedicated to serve – a fitting NDP’er. And I can only guess the phone call I gave him to inform him of my musing of running for the Saskparty in his riding made him wonder why I would even consider such an idea – he did wish me luck, not enough apparently... But anyway, word got up the chain of command somehow and I got a message from Chad B who was running for the NDP up in Yorkton that he and Mr Dwain Ligenfelter wanted to meet with me. True to their word they showed up at my office one Friday afternoon and we sat down and discussed the possibility of me running for them instead. In the riding of Moosmin. To their credit they made it sound glorious, I’d have all the volunteers I’d ever need, money would come from the central campaign and I would not have to put in one red cent or have one fundraiser for this, and all the Indians in all the world would vote for me and I’d ride a wave into the NDP ranks – even if by chance I did lose I would be “considered a god” because I let my name stand in an actual election. Sounded pretty impressive. Good thing Chad had let me know which riding they were thinking of letting me run in and I did some research on it. It was an extremely conservative seat in an area that the Saskparty held strength. One thing Link did say though was after the election if I ran for them and somehow lost, I could be given a seat at Warren’s Executive Council and maybe run in Elphinestone-Centre in 2015.
I had a choice to make.

Deeper thoughts...

2011-11-18T19:10:00.000-06:00

The Saskatchewan Party is associated with conservatism in many First Nations circles and as such, not to be trusted. If you’re First Nations and want to get involved with provincial politics, the easy road is to join the New Democratic Party, the belief seems to be that they are our party. Indeed, the Saskparty doesn’t inspire the warm and fuzzies among First Nations people, limiting the amount of smokes we can buy on reserve, cutting off funding to the FNUniv, not sharing the resources of this province with us, and all that jazz... Rather, they chose to meet with the Chief’s of many First Nations and ask what would you like, opened up more dialogue with FSIN and reached an MOU on working together to improve First Nations educational, and even attend what FSIN called a ‘Bear Pit Session’ to further discuss the concerns of the Chief’s were. Many would argue this was simply an election year ploy and many would agree with that, I had to consider that just maybe they were looking to engage with us and wanted a better relationship. I could help with that. Being a voice in a caucus that previously had no voice from us could prove to be advantageous and given my education and work history I felt I had a lot to offer from our point of view. But how effective could I be as just one voice? Tokenism... or effective activism?

Watering the Seeds...

2011-11-16T19:10:00.001-06:00

Over the next couple weeks I had a few things on the go, my job, doing a masters class, I had a play I wrote that perked someone’s ear in Toronto and they wanted to fly me out to take a playwriting workshop. My life was on the go. But somehow I got to call the number Glen left me and set up a date to meet with some SaskParty official who was going to introduce me to the political process of getting involved and give me some more information about the party itself. When we finally did meet I looked for the tell tale signs of an evil party, horns on his head, a request for a goblet of my blood he could share with his colleagues or a manual on how to properly sacrifice a small animal on an alter... Nothing like that at all showed itself. Al was actually a very nice man who made sure I knew what I was getting into and was happy to answer all my questions. We chatted for two hours about the party, the platform, the history, who I was and how all this came together for a possible candidate. The platform as I came to know it was something I could be comfortable with and the ideals... I could embrace. Smaller government meant less intrusion into my life, a business oriented economy meant more opportunity to be employed, a social safety net that encouraged people to be independent was great I thought. I could work with this, I wanted to see change in North Central and the same old ideas of the ever present NDP in the area were not doing it. Something needed to change... but could I do it?

In the beginning...

2011-11-14T19:15:00.001-06:00

I remember that January morning he called I was quite busy with urban coordinator stuff and didn’t have much time to chat but he asked to sit down. I thought this was odd in itself and I wondered what his question was going to be as I sat down, “Bill,” Glen said, “I want you to think about something, did you know there was a provincial election coming up this fall? I was wondering if you might consider running in it... for the Saskatchewan Party” WTF? I was glad I was sitting down. As I listened to his reasoning and ideas I sat dumbfounded wondering if this entire conversation was some drug induced crazy side effect of some doctor prescribed pill Glen was taking. But he said one thing that stuck with me, “North Central needed better representation on the government side.” Slowly through this conversation I began to pull together the idea that he was serious, but I had things I needed to do and work that wasn’t getting done so I told him I’d think about it and said good bye. To be honest, if it had been anyone else asking me to do this I likely would have laughed and hung up the phone, but I had known Glen for almost ten years and I respected him greatly and just for that fact I decided I needed to give it a serious thought.

Open for Business...

2011-11-12T14:22:00.001-06:00

Hi everybody! Just thought I'd drop a quick note to tell you I'm back and will be posting again soon about my election experience and what ever else. Yes, I ran for the Saskparty in Regina Elphinestone-centre and lost. Watch for the posts starting soon!
I'm sorry I was away for so long! See you all soon!
The Beast.

2011-01-31T16:24:00.000-06:00

For the past 9 days I have had the honour and privilege of working in Toronto with Native Earth and the wonderful Yvette Nolan – their outgoing Artist Director. I experienced playwright workshops, rewrites, readings of my play ‘Marriage of Bear’ and had the opportunity to meet and grow with a number of other Young Voices. It was exciting. Now as I sit back with my feet up and reflect on my trip I am still amazed at the talent, dedication and most of all community spirit that exists within Native Earth. The original rough draft of my play which I had submitted was hammered and chiselled, critiqued and reviewed giving me the opportunity to consider their words, hear how my words would sound by the actors and rewrite it – making it even better.
The entire experience is one I will look back fondly on and meeting the great community of not only Yvette, but also the incoming artist director Tara Began, staff members of Falen Johnson, Sarah O’Brien, Isidra Cruz, other performers such as Zaccheus Jackson, and Ami Mattison, and of course the Young Voices ensemble of Rob, Jacob, James, Julie, and Nicole who all worked so hard to bring my piece a voice! You guys were fantastic! Not only were the people great but the food I tasted we an experience also, I tried new dishes sometimes just pointing to an item on a China Town restaurant menu and saying ‘bring me that dish’ and even tried raw salmon. The raw salmon wasn’t for me and I suspect it’s something you grow into rather than jump in at the spur of the moment. Only once did I regret ordering chicken – they told me it was chicken and I chose to believe them – even though it looked more like pork. But what is life if not for the experience?
After working so hard on this piece now I feel I must push, push it forward to production, push it forward to publication, push forward to the audience! To do anything less would be a slap to those who expended time and energy helping me improve my skills as a writer, and a robbery of the audience who laughed at all the right places and affirmed within me – that this play was actually worth while.
So I hope you watch for it, ‘The Marriage of Bear’ by Bill Stevenson, coming soon to a theatre near you! Thank you Native Earth for putting on one great week of workshops and bringing us all together for an amazing time down at the gathering place – Toronto – and I hope you will continue to work this festival for many many years.

Brokenness

2011-01-02T19:43:00.000-06:00

As I look back at the past few years and consider what has happened in the church and with the church folk I see a great many blessings poured out on the Children of God. Proclamations of Gods goodness abounded, but now with the changing to 2011 I see a new direction. Whereas God does love to bestow gifts upon his children because of his great love for them, he does ultimately desire fellowship, a relationship – a close personal intimate relationship with his children. Because of this I feel that through my searching and prayers that 2011 will be a year of brokenness before the Lord as we are called back to intimacy, back to our First Love. I know in other years I’ve sent out longer messages but I think the call for brokenness before the Lord needs few words.
I hope in the coming new year you will lay the blessings down to seek the Blesser.

You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. Revelation 2:3-5 (NIV, ©2010)

Aboriginal Democracy

2010-12-10T11:26:00.002-06:00

It took a long time to finish this series mainly because I wasn’t sure how I wanted it to end. I don’t believe I’ve answered all my own questions nor have I settled much in my mind but as I have searched my soul over these issues I’ve only been able to come to one conclusion. That I have seen, felt and experienced the power of Jesus Christ in my own life and I do believe that in spite of my own misgivings and misunderstandings of how all these historic, religious, and political dramas have affected the aboriginal people – that they can find freedom in Christ. I know the church isn’t the perfect vehicle for this work, its ministers often self-serving, sinful themselves and apt to a ‘holier than you are attitude’, but I’m convinced that we have not been forsaken by Christ. In my prayers and searching I feel that it breaks the heart of God how the Aboriginal people have been treated and he does indeed want to bring them to a place of freedom and healing. I just don’t know when or how but when I heard this song from Petra, I knew it was exactly how I felt.

“Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the wilderness.” Nehemiah 9:19

How Long by Petra

How Long – Petra
We have sung our songs of victory
We have prayed to You for rain.
We have cried for Your compassion
to renew the land again.
Now we're standing in Your presence
more hungry than before.
Now we're on Your steps of mercy
and we're knocking at Your door.

How long, before You drench the barren land? How long, before we see Your righteous hand? How long, before Your name is lifted high? How long, before the weeping turns to songs of joy?

Lord we know Your heart is broken,
by the evil that You see.
And You've stayed Your hand of judgment
for Your plan to set men free.
But the land is still in darkness
and we've fled from what is right.
And we've failed the silent children
who will never see the light.

How long, before You drench the barren land? How long, before we see Your righteous hand? How long, before Your Name is lifted high? How long, before the weeping turns to songs of joy?

But I know a day is coming, when the deaf will hear His voice. And the blind will see the Saviour, and the lame will leap for joy. When a widow finds a husband, who will always love His bride. And the orphan finds a Father, Who will never leave her side.

How long, before Your glory lights the skies? How long, before Your radiance lifts our eyes? How long, before Your fragrance fills the air? How long, before the earth resounds with songs?

The Kraft Dinner Incident?

2010-12-06T10:00:00.001-06:00

Poverty is a mainstay of the aboriginal experience it seems. Regardless of what the religious belief is we can count on one thing, money isn’t to be found too deep in aboriginal land. Oh sure there are some who have gotten the good job and great home and live a very well off life but it seems those examples are few and far between. More often than not it’s the corrupt aboriginal who gets held up for display as an example of fiscal irresponsibility, this gets replicated at the band level as chiefs and councils are criticised for paying themselves too much, and aboriginal businesses and institutions are pointed out as they fall under mismanagement. It seems that a culture of entitlement hovers over Indian institutions as more and more people simply try to get everything they can from the band, institution, or the tribal council. We talk about family or love and acceptance as being cultural values and teach sharing and the importance of tradition but we watch our leaders practice greed and selfishness. “But I deserve my per diem, I’m allowed a travel check, you don’t know what I do, we don’t get pensions!” Excuse me, but my No Name Mac & Cheese is getting cold.

“From the least to the greatest, their lives are ruled by greed. From prophets to priests, they are all frauds. They offer superficial treatments for my people’s mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when there is no peace.” Jeremiah 6:12-14

Using my Delusions II

2010-12-03T10:39:00.001-06:00

The vast majority of aboriginals I’ve run into during my time as a community worker seem to have an aversion to going to church - “I tried and it didn’t work, I wasn’t good enough, I was told it’s my fault” – seem to be the reasons and excuses that come forward with feelings of being unworthy to stand in the church. The tried and failed approach becomes a generational failure as individual families decide they can’t go to church because their parents never went, then the children of these families have no memory of, nor any reason to consider the church for spiritual guidance. As a result the spiritual voids in their lives become filled with other teachings. Teachings that aren’t necessarily bad teachings – from elders who want to see their people succeed, other religions that offer answers for questioning minds, or some simply preferring to ignore the void by remaining ignorant of spiritual matters. As a result the church becomes less of a place of worship or spiritual guidance and more of a ‘help me now in this moment because you’re Christians and you’re suppose to’. Culture has become more mainstream and acceptable as a source of guidance as aboriginal people return to their traditional ways which both the church and the government tried to take. If the aboriginal people of Kanata feel strengthened and revived by returning to our own ways can this really be a bad thing? In the light of the gospel can we offer support for this process or are these changes seen as preconceived notions and judgements that the church must overcome?

Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.” Philip said, “Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us.” Jesus answered: “Don’t you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? John 14:6-9

Using my Delusions I

2010-12-02T10:36:00.001-06:00

I was sitting in church one Sunday and for some reason I was taken aback at how free everyone seemed. They were dancing, praising God, and just generally rejoicing in the Lord – everyone was having a great time. I thought to myself how great this was and how much I was also enjoying the worship service when I felt a truck hit me. They were all white. Oh sure, there a few black people and a small number of Asian people, and even one or two aboriginals – but the vast majority were white. I thought to myself, ‘where are the aboriginals?’ My mind went back to the past few years of my work in the community – working with low-income or street people, addictions, HIV/AIDS organizations, youth detention centres, prostitution – and there I seen the aboriginal people. And my heart just broke and I wanted to cry because I felt so out of touch. I felt out of touch from the church because they weren’t my people, I felt out of touch from my aboriginal people because they weren’t my church. All I wanted to do was cry and ask God why were so many of us tossed aside and left by the road side.

“The servant came back and reported this to his master. Then the owner of the house became angry and ordered his servant, ‘Go out quickly into the streets and alleys of the town and bring in the poor, the crippled, the blind and the lame.’ “‘Sir,’ the servant said, ‘what you ordered has been done, but there is still room.’ “Then the master told his servant, ‘Go out to the roads and country lanes and make them come in, so that my house will be full. Luke 14:21-23

Lies, Lies, Lies

2010-11-30T09:15:00.000-06:00

We were evil, we were demonized, we were beaten for speaking our language – all in the name of this ‘Jesus Christ’ who supposedly loved us so much that he died for us so that we wouldn’t have to go to hell when we died. He didn’t say anything about not sending us to hell on earth before we died. We were suppose to believe that he loved us, cared for us, wanted to comfort us and that we were not different from anyone else when we stood before him but rather – we were all one when he lived inside us. Why are there mass graves by many of the residential schools? Why were we not allowed to visit our family? Why were our parents threatened with prison if they didn’t let their children get taken away to these horrible places? Why were our ceremonies outlawed? Why was it so important to ‘kill the Indian, save the man’, were we not men in our own culture and ways? Why did the church cover this up and ignore it for so long? Why did it take so long for these LIES LIES LIES to come to light be taken seriously?

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. Psalm 22:1, 2

Appetite for Destruction

2010-11-26T09:00:00.001-06:00

The aboriginal story since the arrival of the Europeans has been one that has been punctuated by pain, suffering, and oppression. To be sure, the start of our relationship was one of mistrust and contempt on both sides and in a nutshell I feel very confident in saying that as long as the aboriginal peoples of this land were of benefit to the Europeans a form of mutual understanding and practical engagement was fostered. For example, surviving the early winters of North America can be attributed to the Aboriginal people’s knowledge of this land, during the fur trade the Europeans had a ready made army hunting for pelts and furs, and while mapping and exploring aboriginal guides were essential to early explorers. During this early period the church ministers and teacher enjoyed a form of status among the aboriginal peoples as teachers of the Europeans way of life and learners of the aboriginal cultures. But things change and as the governments realized they needed the land of this Turtle Island for settlement, well the aboriginal people became a problem that needed to be solved. Small pox infected blankets, bad pork, horrible land to farm, and terrible equipment to use became the government’s way of dealing with this Indian problem. But they had another ace up their sleeve. Boarding schools were built and run by Churches. And the mistrust and abuse of the aboriginal people was set.

Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the LORD your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people. Deut 9:6

Alive ?!*@ Like a Genocide

2010-11-24T22:24:00.001-06:00

I’ve been having a lot of questions lately about my relationship with the church and what it means for me, my life, the lives of my family members, and my community of Aboriginals. The general idea of the church is that, you accept Christ, become acceptable to God and move forward as a new creature with your past washed away. Never to be remembered. The problem I see with this is that it doesn’t seem to work for everyone – the drunks stay drunk, the addicts stay addicted and the thief continues to steal. “Well they’re not trying hard enough, or they don’t have enough faith, or maybe they don’t want to change.” Yet if we are to believe the bible mass conversions happened whenever the gospel was preached and people were filled with the Holy Spirit to live empowered lives free from their previous hindrances and sins. Instead I see half empty churches struggling to pay bills because not enough people attend and of those that do, not enough tithe or give 10% of their income to help the church survive. And maybe if the church isn’t helping people they way they claim to be able to, maybe we need to consider that they shouldn’t receive or indeed deserve our support. Over my next few posts I want to explore my thoughts about my relationship, the historic relationship of the church to the aboriginal people and both my current and the current aboriginal relationship with the church. To this end I hope to be able to honestly evaluate what my position should be in this organization and how I can be in a ‘move forward’ preparedness in both my life and my relationship with God. Or perhaps without.

Call to Me and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know. Jeremiah 33:3

You Might Be A Bar Star If...

2010-11-22T19:53:00.002-06:00

If you think the best picture of you is at a bar with twenty empty bottles and glasses around you and you have a queasy squint in your eye that says you may have just swallowed a wee bit of puke - you might be a bar star!

If you make plans to go to a movie, play some pool and finally head home to finish off the night with a quiet night of cards but somehow magically find yourself holding a drink and surrounded by dancing drunk zombies in the middle of a two-tone dance floor with beats beating your ears into hiding - you might be a bar star!

If you find yourself broke on a boring night and you decide to go to the bar anyway because lets face it, someone will buy you a beer just because you think you're totally awesome in every conceivable way possible - you might be a bar star!

If you notice the bouncers look at you, nod to each other and the bartender put the tip jar away as you walk in the doors then having your next memory being of you flying through the bar doors with the bouncers yelling behind you, 'We told you last weekend to say out!!' - You might be a bar star!

If after every weekend, hump day Wednesday, thirsty Thursday, and finally Friday you have a new profile picture of yourself in a different bar chugging down a vodka special, Alabama slammer, bottle of bud, whiskey shot, AND a couple of paralyzes - you might be a bar star!

If you have a plan to 'chip in' for a case of beer or coolers to drink before you got to the bar because it's cheaper that way, but still end up spending just as much as every other bar night and still making it to off sale because you really didn't need that 'emergency money' anyway - you might be a bar star!

If you remember each weekend end by what bar you started at, who was in town, whether or not it was a cheque day that Friday and how all that led to that 'Hawt' individual you ended up being hooked up with - you might be a bar star!

If for what ever reason you didn't go out to the bar but just stayed home on a Friday night but still woke up the next morning hung over simply because your body thinks that’s how a Saturday morning after is suppose to normally feel - you might be a bar star!

If you text me and tell me to stop talking about you in my bar star posts - guess what!!!! YOU MIGHT BE A BAR STAR!!!!!!

If after reading this list you think to yourself, ‘I was with you when this happened to us!’ – We might have been bar stars together!! Thanks for the memories!

Rememberance Day 2010

2010-11-09T11:29:00.000-06:00

I’ve decided not to wear a poppy this year. Not because I don’t remember, nor do want to forget. My Mushom fought in World War II and often told me stories about how it was over there. My Kukom would tell me her stories of getting by and writing letters to him while he was overseas. When they passed on I held on to their stories of survival and would remember both them raising me and the stories they told. I loved them and would never want to forget them nor the sacrifices they made.
Over the past few years I’ve noticed the poppy becoming increasingly subjected to the personal whims and political onslaught of opinion. Everything from a white poppy symbolising peace, to my own aboriginal people creating a medicine wheel coloured poppy to remember aboriginal veterans on a special day, November 9th. Last year I was even told by an opinionated man that if we didn’t vote in the civic election we did not have the right to wear a poppy. How did, ‘Lest we forget...’ turn into this?
My Mushom and his Brothers in Arms fought for peace – so that the atrocity of Hitler would not spread beyond the confines of Europe. They fought to suppress a totalitarian rule that sought to subject ‘lesser races’ to an Aryan master race and they fought so that they would not be able to continue the heinous acts started in what’s known as The Holocaust. Our aboriginal warriors of the armed forces fought and died beside members of every other Canadian and at times fell in with the death fields where the enemy fell also.
Now our veterans who raise money with the Red Poppy campaign must work to overcome political opinions of the White Poppy of peace, Aboriginals branching off to create their own special day, to opinions of who should and should not wear a poppy. All this takes away from one single point – an enemy bullet, friendly fire, road side explosive, rocket launcher – all take away a family member. Someone who fought so we could have these discussions, so we could have our freedoms we enjoy, so we could go about our day without fear, these individuals made the ultimate sacrifice so we would never know the horrors they saw.
You would think that for one day a year we could put our differences aside to remember and thank our soldiers and warriors for the very opportunity to remember and thank them.
This year I will wear a Red Poppy, but only on November 11th. When I do it will be to remember my Mushom for when he fought, for when he rescued his friends while under enemy fire, as he watched the German Luftwaffe fly overhead while in Britain to when he invaded Normandy. On November 11th I will put my political opinions aside and remember the families who lost Sons and Daughters and Uncles and Fathers and Aunts and in every war and battle fought on every continent over every reason. I will remember they fought side by side, depending on each other for survival, and lived their lives as warriors.

“Lest we forget...”

Short Testimony about my Education

2010-09-06T18:54:00.003-06:00

I remember when I was 18 - 20 I lived in the basement of a church here in Regina, I really didn't think I had any potential to do much of anything with my life. For another 5 years I believed this about myself. It wasn't that I was incapabl...e, I worked for the Globe and Mail as a courier, had my own auto shop in my garage and life was actually quite good. Jeramiah 29:11 states, "For I know the plans that I have for you says the Lord, they are plans for good and not for evil to give you a future and a hope." You see, everything I accomplished up to that point was about to be overshadowed by the plans The Lord had for me. Though, as I lost my job with the Globe and Mail, broke up with my girlfriend and watched my house burn down I didn't know this.
It was a very difficult time for me in which I moved into my Moms basement. I looked at myself and my life and became depressed - I only had a grade 10 education and skills that I found could not be quantified without a paper saying I really knew what I knew. Walking up to shops and asking for a job taught me that, being educated with a piece of paper to show for it was important, saying 'my uncle taught me my skills' just wasn't enough. I realized I'd have to go back to school if I wanted to do anything with my life, as well as move out of my Moms basement.
I was terrified to go back to school. I was raised to believe that was nothing more than a, "F**king useless dog" and that I would never amount to anything, I honestly believed I was too stupid for school. I cried and looked for ways out of going back to school, roofing, labour, trades, they all required education of some sort. Well, if I got my GED that would be good enough, I thought to myself. I studied for three months with a small GED training class and got my GED quite easily. At that time I had recieved the highest marks ever awarded for that training class. And I was amazed.
One semester in University couldn't hurt could it? I was feeling pretty confident and applied even though I was still terrified and still holding onto the thoughts in the back of my mind that I was raised to believe - perhaps I was reaching too far. Well, I got accepted and my band decided to pay for my semester so I thought I would see how it was going to play out.
I tell you it wasn't always easy, but after 6 years and changing my major three times I finished with a Bachelor of Human Justice and those feelings of low worth, self-pity, and depression have fled. Now as I look to the future I still hold onto Jeramiah 29:11 as my foundation and I've learned to put my trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and not what people say about me. Some people have told me that God had nothing to do with me finishing my degree, but all I can say to that is - "He has done so much for me, I can not tell it all!"

Oh, and the name of that church I stayed in? Songs of Living Waters Revival Centre, thanks Bev and Lou Kenny!

A New Look for an Old Savage...

2010-08-04T02:17:00.001-06:00

So?

What do you think? Do you like the changes? Leave me a comment and let me know eh?

Thanks to those of you who continually follow me...

Jadedness

2010-08-03T00:14:00.001-06:00

I had a very good weekend, didn’t do much mind you but maybe that’s what made it so good. Last night after a great movie with a friend (Go see Dinner for Smucks!) I went to Shoppers Drug Mart to get a frozen pizza. Upon walking into the store I remembered I also needed body wash (man smelling body wash, none of the flowers and lavender stuff for me) and new razors (disposable 3 blade something’s for sensitive skin) so it made for a productive stop I told myself. Next I walked over to the frozen food section, picked out a 3-meat Delisiosso (of which I would later only eat half) and proceeded to the check out. While in line I noticed a very pretty lady coming towards me, aboriginal, very pretty face, and nicely dressed. My first thought upon looking at her was, ‘she has some nice bone structure’, whereas not the most flattering thing to think I do think if you had seen her you’d agree. Next I thought, ‘If I believed in love at first sight, she might have got me.’ I made a quick mental decision to smile and to try a conversation of sorts with her when I thought, ‘Why bother? She’s probably just a bitch like all the other women I’ve dated.’ I turned away, back to the check out counter then thought, ‘Did I really just think that? I have no idea who she is and I tossed her aside based on my past experience. Maybe she was different.’ I turned to look back at her but she was gone, I didn’t see her again. As I walked to my car with my pizza I wondered why I’d become so jaded and I don’t know. I know it isn’t healthy but I don’t know that I can find my way to health on this one.

Though I have searched repeatedly, I have not found what I was looking for. Only one out of a thousand men is virtuous, but not one woman! Ecclesiastes 7:28

Broken Healing, Healing Brokenness

2010-03-15T02:05:00.002-06:00

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the type of energy I’ve been looking for. I seem to have an outlook for a more negative manner of energy, looking for the addictions and brokenness rather than the good in a person’s life. That isn’t to say I’m seeking the devil himself but rather I do tend to see the negative side of things a lot more before I begin looking for more positive reasons. This has lead to cynicism – mockery – false hope, no hope. I’ve had to question why I’ve been looking at things this way, is it too much for me to believe that people can in fact change – or have people failed me too many times to be believable? Why did I feel like slapping the guy I had just met who described himself as someone who, ‘just loved everyone and was the most non-judgmental person I’d ever meet’, just to see if his attitude was for real? What’s wrong with me that I can’t accept someone who’s simply happy with their lot in life? Am I really that broken?
Later as I thought about this and rationalized it I came to piece things together in such a way as to realize that maybe it isn’t so bad to have lived a life that hasn’t been broken and scarred. My experience has been different than most peoples, but I know it isn’t unique. A generation of us went through residential schools, have been raped, or mentally, emotional and physically abused growing up – often by the ones we loved, or were suppose to be loved by. The reality of the situation isn’t that it simply happened and we just never moved on, but rather this situation came about and was never dealt with. When I look at the world I see it through a broken lens, and as a result I expect others to be broken. I work with people who have come out of broken situations similar to mine, I work with people who are broken, and I see a lot of people who believe they aren’t broken but are nothing more than a shattered mirror taped together.
I expect people to have addictions. I expect people to have secrets. I don’t expect people to be healthy. But yet I work in an area where I have to believe people can heal.
I think back to when I was a small child and my Mushom and Nukom showered me with love and cared for all my needs. I wonder where I became broken...
Was it the first time I was raped? Or was it when I seen my uncles eyes glaze over as he beat me in madness? Maybe it was when I first realized my father never cared at all for me, or my mother for that matter. At what point did the brokenness become so ingrained in me that it was all I could see? Finally, why am I so intent on projecting it on the world around me?
I was driving around ring road the other day and I realized something, the ‘good’ areas of the city far outnumber the ‘bad’ areas of the city and there are many people through no fault of their own have lived a good life and have never been exposed to the horrors that some of us have faced. They’ve gone though life with a good marriage, decent kids, stability in their homes and perhaps monthly socials that they might host every now and again. You know what I’ve come to conclude? That there is nothing wrong with having a good life, somewhere the brokenness stops being an issue and health is the norm. Someone surrounded by this kind of life and upbringing could indeed go through life with ‘love for everyone and being non-judgmental’ and it would be totally natural and normal.
Someone like that might look at a person with a positive spin, for strong traits, or perhaps a desire to hug and love without inhibitions.
Some days I look back at my life and wonder if I could ever reach a point of unabashed love for others. Part of me says no, that I never could look past the cynicism and apathy that I love so much. But another part of me wants to reach out, toss away those security blankets of cynicism and apathy and embrace love.

Some of the greatest friends in my life have been incredibly polite to others. Polite to the point that in my cynicism I want to mock them, but yet a part of me has been crying out louder and louder to imitate them, to try to be politer. As I’ve looked back over the years I’ve known some of these men and women I’ve noticed a change in me – I’ve become less likely to jump to conclusions, better able to control my anger, more apt to simply smile. I’ve realized I’ve changed because of the good friends I have in my life, friends that have been good examples to me. Thank you. As my professors and teachers have expanded my brain, you’ve expanded my character.
Realizing I have a tendency to look at things wrong, or in a more negative manner is in and of itself, an indication of something – that I am changing and growing. The desire to change in me challenges me to keep pressing on and to keep this challenge to myself going. Tonight I’ve come to realize something else about myself, that I’m not completely broken – even though there may still be tape holding me together in a few places, I’ve been on the road of recovery for long enough to know I’ve indeed been healing – and I know I’ve seen others heal along this road.

Indeed, that’s a positive thing.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22,23

Indian Leadership... Indian Clowns...

2010-03-05T15:45:00.004-06:00

The aboriginal people of Saskatchewan have been getting talked a lot about lately in the news lately, not all of it good. Maybe not any of it good. The biggest issue seems to be the First Nations University of Canada and how it has been run for the past five years, accusations abound as to the inability of aboriginal peoples to successfully manage this institution. People point to other instances of mismanagement, First Nations Band Offices, SIGA, FSIN and in their criticism they can get down right racist.
Now there is a proposal on the table for a 1.2 billion dollar investment into Regina being put forward by ten independent First Nations to build a new multipurpose sports-plex on the old CN rail yards. The proposal comes at the backing of the Seminole Tribe of the United States, a very successful group of business entrepreneurs who have maintained sovereignty over their tribal lands. They developed a business sense over through an active participation in the US economy as cattle ranchers and selling duty-free tobacco, originally followed by cultural tourism trades, and casinos. In December of 2006 they spent 900 million dollars of their own money to purchase the Hard Rock Café and are also more recently involved with the building of the new Yankee Stadium in New York. This is a tribe of Indians who have a sense of business.
I can’t help but wonder what kind of fanfare this proposal would have received if another organization would have brought it forward, another organization of a lighter skinned ethnicity. Say, General Motors or Chrysler Corporation. Maybe Enron Energy, or Bre-X Gold, perhaps a major American bank or Trust such as Freddie Mac or Fannie Mae would have brought delight to many of these individual who are persistent in their opinion that the Aboriginal people of Canada can’t run a business. It must be easier to criticize the reflection in the mirror when the reflection in the mirror is brown.

When people criticize the First Nations University they don’t look at the 25 years of leadership, hard work, and dedication it took to get to the place of being able to spend 28 million dollars to build the world class facility for the world class faculty. Or the fact that it was only after a political take over by Watson under the guise of ‘protecting’ the university that it went to hell in a hand basket. Nepotism at it's finest. All these people see is the failure, and they revel in that like pigs in mud.
I agree there is corruption among our people, but the same is true of every color - Broken Treaties comes to mind. It just seems that being the most despised race we have to carry the brunt of public opinion, even though there are many lesser known and publicized examples of successful aboriginal business. Pick up any First Nation run newspaper and check it out but don't forget the paper itself is an example. It is so difficult to keep fighting the good fight when it seems that everyone around you in is intent on breaking and keeping you down. What’s the point of trying to be the best you can be when your leadership makes everyone think you're going to be corrupt? The Aboriginal youth around you make store owners think Indians are nothing but thieves and thugs? I wonder if this is what our Leadership wants us to think and to be thought of by other peoples?
Now as I write this it comes to light that the Seminoles were never involved with this project. Why? What happened? Was this a joke? Those ten bands should have waited a few days to have presented their proposal, til April 1st at least then they could have claimed it to be an April Fools Joke and everyone would have laughed at Indian Humor rather than Indian Stupidity.
Sigh… For the average Indian this has to be disparaging… We’re looking to our leaders for vision and strength to carry this vision – instead we seem to have clowns in a clown car. The only hope I have is that maybe the change in leadership across Indian Land at FSIN, FNUniv, and AFN can improve our status. Somehow, I think it might be too late.

A Scribe Scribbling About The First Nations University

2010-02-10T01:22:00.001-06:00

The other day I went to the First Nations University to drop off a letter to an old professor and as i walked through the halls i was struck at how sad the place seemed. The past few days have been rough on the place as news agencies have taken hit after hit on the place reporting this fact or that fact about what’s going on or what they perceive what has been going on. As a former student, it’s been like watching a friend get diagnosed with leukaemia and have to suffer round after round of chemotherapy only to have the doctors come in to say that in spite of the improvements that have been made – the cancer is too aggressive and only a miracle will save your friend now.

I began my educational journey at the First Nations University back in September 2003 and remember the feeling of pure awe as I walk into those blue doors for the first time. It was such an incredibly beautiful building that it simply amazed me that we as First Nations People had accomplished building it. My further amazement came at the fact that it was to be a university, not just a community collage, or a federated collage of the University of Regina, but in and of itself a full degree granting university for First Nations people. Somewhere along the line our elders had seen a change coming and prepared for it accordingly.

Now all that work our elders planned for seems to be hanging in the balance and as I have watched the fighting I once again have been amazed at something I’ve seen the First Nations people doing – the fighting. I remember five years ago when this university went through a similar experience, then it seemed to be kicked off by some mythical affidavit that was never seen by anyone but Greg Stevenson and Morley Watson. I often wonder if I could ever see it – I hear it was worth $5,000 to both the buyer and seller. But of course all that is merely speculation. The suspensions and firings that followed lead to charges that were never held up in court due to the decisions to settle outside of court with publication bans – honourable of the administration if it was trying to avoid destroying the reputations of such fine outstanding members of the aboriginal community who had momentarily lapsed in their judgements and stuck their hands in the proverbial cookie jar. But shameful if it was done in an attempt to cover their own mistakes or wrongful actions.

I’d still like to see the outcome of those settlements.

Wes Stevenson has continued to maintain his innocence fighting his charges even after the RCMP laid formal charges – he’s still waiting to go through the court system and deal with them. In one of his letters to the Leaderpost he claims he will not settle this matter outside of court but will work to uncover the truth of the situation. I wish you well with your crusade – some of us still remember those cold days in February that were made colder by the uncertainty of what the future of our institution was going to be. History repeats itself quicker in aboriginal circles.

Now, after five years of questionable leadership and this leadership coming under question it seems that everything has come to a head. The reason people point to this happening is the release of what has become known as the Westerlund Files – a former Chief Finance Officer who documented what appeared to be financial oddities, reported them to the senior administration, and finally blew the whistle after he was fired – or left under mutual agreement – depending on who you listen to.

It should be noted that copies of these files and sequent accusations were widely circulated via email as well as published on various news sites. An interesting contrast to the previous 2005 tactics.

This past week has been a harbinger as the First Nations University Student Association continued to take up arms and fight with the Board of Governors but ultimately taking the fight to the Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations (FSIN). It must have seemed a monumental task going to the heart of the Indian Government that placed the First Nations University Board of Governors in place to ensure ‘Indian control of Indian education’, to ask them to dissolve the very same board. At the heart of the Student Association is Diane Adams who’s leading the charge and demanding answers and change. But change it would seem had beat the students to FSIN.

Chief Guy Lonechild of the Whitebear First Nation was elected on October 29th and came with a wealth of experience from 9 years of FSIN experience. As Chief of FSIN Lonechild sits on the First Nations University Board of Governors as a de facto member with no voting privileges – a seat he relinquished after the Student Association made their appeal to have the board dissolved. It was this move that I believe showed the leadership needed at this point in time help bring other Board Members to a point where they too would relinquish their seats.

To the Student Association it must have seemed like the Death Star being blown up by the rebel alliance when it was announced that the Board of Governors had been dissolved and the senior administration placed on leave. I remember the cheers and the joy that had been expressed by the students and by myself when the news broke, but like every good story – a victory isn’t complete without a counter strike. While the FSIN was on their supper break the provincial government announced they did not plan to continue to fund the First Nations University, the result was 5.2 million dollars evaporating from First Nations Education. The funny thing about Indian Control of Indian Education is the fact that it is often the Canadian taxpayer who pays. A fact that was reinforced by the federal government following suit by pulling 7.2 million dollars in funding away from the beleaguered institute.

Whether or not it was the students who stood up to the FSIN assembly or the provincial government pulling millions of dollars that changed the hearts of the FSIN assembly I prefer to remember of it as the Students standing up to them and changing their minds – and will continue to do so.

But it must be realized that change has come to the institute many of us love, the old board is gone and a new smaller board of 9 academic members is in the process of being built. James Turk of the Canadian Association of University Teachers (CAUT) seems to think so. Since December 1st 2008 the FNUniv has been on CAUT’s censure list, meaning members will be asked not accept appointments, positions or engagements put on by the FNUniv. Being censured can negatively affect an institutes ability to attract new professors or obtain grants. But upon making the changes requested by CAUT Turk thinks the Provincial government should restore funding immediately in spite of the time and tactics needed to bring about the change stating, “It would be destructive not to restore funding.”

But now I have to wonder out loud if all this change is meaningful, some of us still remember five years ago when the same thing happened. Does another family having the power mean another round of nepotism favouritism? Or have we learned from our mistakes this time and will finally let our flagship institution have the independence it clearly needs and deserves so it can truly lead all of our people to a brighter future? I’ve heard some people call this experience growing pains, or labour pains, even saying we are simply at a cross roads in our travels, but I think we need to be honest with ourselves and with others – we’ve become lost and no longer know our way. We are looking for strong leadership to lead us but we need a leader who is willing to work with both provincial and federal governments to ensure we find our way back.

Only then will we be able to move forward once again.

“We are willing to fight for this place!” Diane Adams

It was stated that education is our modern buffalo, it has been restated that education is our treaty right, but lets remember also that misspending public money shows we are not able to effectively run our own institutions. I’m sure the federal government will continue to fund First Nations students as per treaty obligation tokenism but they have no clause that says we have to have our own institution. It was the wisdom and foresight our grandfathers had that created this entity – in partnership.

The 10 Greatest Rez-mobiles

2010-02-03T13:39:00.001-06:00

I remember the very first time I got to drive a car. The raw feeling of power that pulsed through my veins as I inserted the keys and brought that engine to life with a flick of my wrist also started a love affair that would last for the next 25 years. The big green station wagon I drove was my mushoms and he asked me to drive him home from his friends place. They had been drinking and I was the only one sober enough to drive. He handed me the keys and I climbed into the drivers seat as he said, “You’re a man now, take me home.” Or at least that’s what I think he said through his slurred speech.
As I settled into the drivers seat I realized I could not see over the dash, let alone the hood or the road I was suppose to be driving on. But being the ever resourceful boy I was I pulled my left leg up onto the seat and sat my butt down on top of my foot. That was all the clearance I needed from my spot on the edge of the seat, I was 8 years old and my other foot could barely reach the pedal. Together, me and my Moshom drove home – I still remember his gallon of Royal White sitting safely between us.
For the next couple years I would drive my Moshom all over the reserves, even to the church two reserves over, and by the time I was ten I was a well experienced driver. I had driven cars, trucks, vans, other people’s cars, I had also driven people to town but never into town (the bears had a den in our town) and waited outside the town bars until 2 or 3 in the morning to drive people home. Some drunken grown up adult would drive the vehicle outside the city to some dirt road and I would take over from there. They would drink their stubbys of Molson Canadian beer.
As I grew older I learned a lot about cars from how to drive a standard, to how to fix them, and how to identify them. Of course over the next few years I owned a multitude of cars, some lasting 3 days, others lasting 3 years and in the end they all served the same purpose – to transport me from point A to point B. Now as I look back over my experience a few vehicles and modes of transportation stand out and thus I present to you,

The 10 Greatest Rez-mobiles!

Late 70’s Thunderbirds – these classy cars have graced the front yards of many homes on almost every reserve I’ve been to, either running or up on blocks because parts from it have been cannibalized from it to keep another Thunderbird running. I’m sure you know the ones I mean, late 70’s vintage – super long hood, two tonne door, massive V8 engines, you just knew at some point in their past they shone in the sun and glistened in the rain but now the paint had dulled and the engine had to backfire at least once before you could put it in gear otherwise it would just stall. I loved these gentle giants because no matter how hard you pushed the gas petal – that car was just too heavy to torpedo anywhere, but – get it out on the highway when you looking for adventure or what ever came your way – you were cruising in comfort.

Mid 80’s Cougars – a friend of mine described these cars as the most expensive yard decoration he had ever owned. The cougar he owned could do nothing right for him, it was in a constant state of repair to which he could never keep up with. But they were one of the first cars to come out with the ‘Clear coat’ gloss paint and they looked slick! They were shiny in the rain, shiny in the sun, and unlike earlier Cougars, they weren’t heavy. The little 302 stock Ford they came with made the little cat pounce faster than a starving barn cat on a fat mouse. I suspect that after seeing how these cars were driven had more to do with the fact that they broke down more than the quality of the car themselves.

½ tonne trucks – if you lived on any reserve for any length of time you have needed at one point or another – a truck. If it was junk you could pile it on and haul it away, if it was a broken vehicle you could tow it, if you cousin needed to be moved yet again you could claim you were busy, and if you simply wanted to go hunting, away you went. That was the power of the truck. It never mattered who made them, Ford made good ones, Chevys and GMC’s could get the job done and even if you had a Dodge that started people would still ask you for favours. God help you if you showed up on the rez with an import – that thing broke down there was no way you were ever going to get parts for it. Ever. That was part of the beauty of owning a truck, the parts were so interchangeable – I once put a Chevy carburetor on a Dodge engine – and yes, it worked.

Chevettes - the poor Indian’s chariot. I’ve had two chevettes, great cars – both of them needed to be push started. I’m sure that was a design flaw because most cars now have keys and starters and batteries for that kind of thing. Not my chevettes, nope they were tiny rear wheeled monsters that me and my friends would jump out get behind and heave with all our might, I would jump in once the car got going fast enough, pop the clutch and away we’d go! These little beasts were so easy on gas that you felt like a king if you only had ten dollars because you could put 2 dollars in for the night, buy snacks and still have chip-ins for your buddies! We did replace the starter on one of them only to have it burn out two weeks later.

The Snagging Wagon – it did not matter what kind of wagon you had, if you had a wagon it was called the snagging wagon! It worked even better if you had the back filled with blankets, err – snagging blankets in your snagging wagon just chasing down the pow wow trail! My snagging wagon was a brown 1982 Ford Fairmont, with a shaky 6 cylinder engine. The greatest thing about my snagging wagon was the fact that it was never registered, it was a pure rezmobile. That didn’t stop me from going to town, other towns in the area and even Regina, I loved driving my snagging wagon. No matter where I was I always had a blanket and a bed – just had to put the back seats down and I was ready for a nap – or what ever.

The Gutless Cutlass – oh sure many claimed to have a Cutlass with power, 307 Oldsmobile engine, 4-barrel carburetor, dual exhaust, and Lightening Rod shifters but most were simply stock cars with mags. The 307 was a great engine that provided more than enough power for these cars and for most people around the reserve but I think the biggest draw I could see for them was the styling, everybody wanted to be seen in one – it didn’t matter if there was already five people in the car, there was room for three more. Six more if someone wanted to ride in the trunk, 7 if a couple rode in the trunk.

The Rez Boat – it didn’t matter what kind of car this one was – it just had to be old and big, usually a late 60’s early 70’s model that had a massive engine and ugly styling. Mine was a 1964 ½ Dodge Polaria with a 318cid Red Rocket big block engine, four people could sit with comfort across the back seat. Naturally we all loved this big white car and felt so safe in its loving embrace as we cruised the dirt highways of our reserves. The fact that the gas gauge didn’t work was no hindrance to our travels, we knew all about the American Indian Express Credit Card and our card had no limit. Even when the police stopped us once and asked me why we smelled like gas I simply explained the gas gauge situation was the reason we drove around with 3 – 10 gallon gas pails full of gas, just in case, you know we ran out. The officer looked at me, slowly nodded his head and walked away.

The Bone Shaker – I sat in town with a 34 dollar ticket in my hand and waited. I was excited because this would be my first time going to the city in a bus, I didn’t know what to expect. It sounded and looked so exciting, a huge caravan of people traveling together in one space for over 2 hours, getting to know each other as we took turns watching the magnificent prairie landscape slide past us with each moment. Music would play softly in the back ground as I met new friends that taught me new gambling advice that applied to life as well – I climbed aboard with much anticipation. Boy was I disappointed. The movie playing onboard was ‘Dumb and Dumber’ but I had brought no headphones.

The Bike – I don’t care what anyone says, if you didn’t have a car you had to have a bike. Even though the vast distances between homes seemed to be too much for our little minds to comprehend, we always seemed ready to bike across three reserves just so we could get into trouble together. As kids we always found people willing to toss our bikes in the back of their trucks, minivans, snagging wagons, pow wow vans on top of their cars, how ever to help us get to where we were going. My favourite memory was riding the 201 highway down to the valley with no hands and suddenly losing control ¾’s of the way down – let me tell you, pavement hurts when you’re going that fast.

The Ol’trusty Thumb – when ever I didn’t have a car and needed to go somewhere I got out the hoofs, trotted down to the grid road and stuck out my thumb to each passing motorist. It never took too long to get a ride to where ever I was going. I would go to town, down to the lake, eventually I would ‘thumb it’ to Regina and no matter where I was I always felt the world was at my fingertips, well my tip of my thumb at least.

Today I drive a late model Grand Prix and I swear every time I turn that key to go on a road trip that excitement I first felt still tingles in the back of my mind and I think of my moshom, thanking him for introducing me to a life long passion. Nuna’skomostowao Ne’moshom.

More Incoherent Ramblings in the Key of B-minor

2010-01-29T11:35:00.002-06:00

The real cost of a drive-through coffee
By Graeme Fletcher, Canwest News ServiceJanuary 29, 2010 10:02 AM
Talk about a waste of money. The line of cars snakes its way around the parking lot and out on to the road where it is beginning to block traffic.
The object and obsession of all of those waiting in line, all of whom are wasting precious fossil fuel and needlessly pumping greenhouse gases, is a cup of coffee and a doughnut.
It really makes no sense.

After reading that article I was very surprised to find out the author supported the system of buying Carbon Credits! These are just misguided ways to ease a country’s or a corporations conscience to their environmental damage they are doing while fooling people into thinking they are actually doing something positive for the environment. Made me think he was writing the column not to promote environmental awareness (which he did) but rather to stick his own nose in the air in an 'idle' and meaningless way while calling the good people of the world who are simply trying to live their lives, miscreants! I guess putting a nose in the air makes name calling acceptable.
Shrugging off one's own personal responsibility to a corporation is a meaningless act unless coupled by personal meaningful change. Many people are already willing to pay 3-5 dollars for a Starbucks Coffee, I'm almost certain any percentage added on to a Tim Horton's total (or McDonalds, Wendy's or Burger King) would be swallowed by the consumer with grumbling but, without question.
The changes the tree huggers the author speaks of (install more pedestrian-only zones, bike lanes and, heaven forbid, a tax on those who dare to use an automobile to get into the city) would be great in an ideal world but sadly we live in this one and the rights and importance of 'the individual' are paramount making it all but impossible to implement these changes. People would simply be up in arms - 'I need my car! What if something happens to my kids? What if I have an emergency? What if there is a terrorist attack - how will I get away?' They may not be valid arguments but you know they would be used, in spite of the positive environmental impacts.
Now, I don't know where the author lives but here in Regina SK, I start my car with my remote 'after' I get out of the shower, because lets face it, at -30 degrees we're hoping for some global warming! But maybe I should buy some Carbon Credits to ease my conscience a bit.

2010 – In Churchinese…

2010-01-01T20:55:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year Everyone!

Well the first decade of the new millennium was sure a grudge match it seemed. From the terror attacks, disasters and floods, financial issues and, highlights of various global problems arising – it’s almost as if we stumbled into this millennium still drunk and hung over from the party that was 1999. Now we have celebrated the arrival of a new decade and washed our hands of the old, I am hearing many people talking about how glad they are at finally finishing 2009 with a collective sigh being heard at the exciting possibility of a new and fresh start.

As I have considered, prayed, and looked into the future I have come to the conclusion that this may very well be a great new beginning for both the world and for the Church – but I am not convinced that it is going to get easier for the Believer. Let me explain.

I don’t see tolerance to our point of view (Jesus Christ is the Son of God and the Way the Truth and the Life and we all must go through him) becoming more acceptable – if anything I believe we will experience even more discrimination from the financial sector, governments, lobby groups and other world religions. Nothing new there and this has been a long time coming.

I also think false doctrine in the Church will become more prevalent and difficult to separate from the truth. As society embraces even more secular forms of tolerance and chooses to accept watered down versions of God’s word this will lead to further rebellion against Foundational Christianity. That is to say, scriptures that ‘favour love and forgiveness for all’ will be touted more and more while scriptures that preach against sin, hell, and rebellion will be scorned. Biblical, Islamic, New Age and Native Spirituality will be seen as being more and more ‘fused’ together to create a more overwhelming and accepting religion that most people will choose to follow. This religion will almost having a form of godliness but will lack any actual power to change a persons life.

I think that many people will fall into this trap simply because many denominations, churches, and religions will see fit to preach ‘unity and love’ as opposed to ‘sin and repentance’. A full church brings in more money from tithes and offering than an empty church – showing their thoughts and actions lining up with the worlds mentality of ‘we need money to do stuff’ rather then the Churches, ‘we need the grace of God to provide our needs’.

Now, I have always been a believer in personal accountability and that we are each responsible for the decisions we make and what we choose to believe. For the churches out there that choose to continue to preach the gospel as it was intended (be it house, underground, mainstream, or corner coffee shop churches) I think there will be a unifying in the spirit of your members as your body abides in Jesus. The reason I believe this is based on experience, you can not draw closer to the Lord without a body of believers surrounding you that loves you, prays for you, and supports you as you all walk in close relationship with the Lord. Consider your spiritual brothers and sisters.

So what am I getting at? 2010 is going to be a year of work, and hard work at that it is going to be the beginning of a decade of change. We as believers are going to have to roll up our sleeves and begin to ask the Lord to examine our hearts and our lives – for if there are issues in our lives that we won’t let the Lord take care of – there are problems in the Church foundation that also need to be addressed. The biggest stumbling block before us in this manner isn’t our sin itself – it’s going to be our pride.

We accept sin in our lives because we believe that ‘nobody knows, it’s my secret, it’s not really a problem or, it doesn’t affect anyone else’. But sin is sin and our relationship to God as believers is directly affected by our sin, indeed our entire our entire witness to the world is tarnished when we let our sin control aspects of our character and lives. What good is being a witness if we project no need to change – because when all a person sees when they look at us is another form of themselves?

I am not calling on the Church to forget or belittle the experiences and victories of the past decade but rather to examine the foundation upon which we have been built and ensure it is still the Word of God. If need be, then to cast down the imaginations and doctrines that have exalted themselves against the knowledge of God, for it would do us no good to face a world that was increasingly intolerant to our beliefs if we don’t realize our house is built on sand.

I want to challenge you as I challenge myself to develop a closer relationship to Christ through prayer, biblical investigation, and mediation on God’s Word, fellowship, group prayer and finally the casting off of sin. This world is getting darker people, but we’re still a part of it – and together we can be the lights that we are called to be.

Bill Stevenson.

Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus!

Memories of Relations

2009-12-07T11:56:00.002-06:00

Some of you who have followed my blog know a lot of my writing has dealt with my past and growing up, the things I’ve overcome growing into a man. I’ve talked about my mother and father, my aunt and others who have had an impact but the elephant in my past that I’ve not mentions so much as been my uncle. He was very likely the most influential person on my character development and understanding of the Bible. I’ll always be grateful for his foundational work he gave me for biblical knowledge – it has been this that has allowed me to develop my balanced character, but he was also a very violent and moody man who kept his problems his own. The independence he taught me was at the cost of interdependence, the work ethic he gave me was hindered by personal interaction skills, and punctual nature he punched into me was undermined by the late development of my social skills. Over all, I’m not happy with the memories he gave me but I know the tools he taught me helped me to survive and be a man on my own – I just hope he has found his way and become a man also. I’ve decided I’m going to spend the next few weeks talking about my relationship I had with him. Enjoy.
The Beast.
____________________________________________________

“Kick him!” My uncle yelled at me, “Kick him harder! HARDER!” It was late fall and we were moving away from the reserve and going to Winnipeg, the two dogs we had were getting in our way as we moved stuff onto the truck. I was told to chase them away. When they came back right away my uncle yelled at me to do it again. So I did. When they came back again my uncle grabbed me by the hair, bounced my head against the truck box and threw me to the ground, “I told you to get those dogs out of here!” I loved my dogs and never wanted to hurt them but the terror of my uncle and the memory of his anger drove me blindly. This man had no problem taking an axe and swinging at me for a lost wrench, putting on his cowboy boots and stomping on my head because my friends dropped off at home rather than letting me walk home at 3 in the morning. So there I was kicking my dog has hard as I could forcing them to run away from me, further and further from the house as my uncle taunted me on and finally into the bush. I turned to look back at the house, to my uncle – I seen him coming out of the house with his rifle, “FURTHER IN THE BUSH!” he yelled as he pointed the gun at me. I was 12 years old at the time. I’m 33 now and I wonder what it took for a man to treat a boy that way. What kind of issues did he face? What kind of problems did he hide away and never overcome? I’ve centered my identity on Christ, but then again – he claimed to also, but I don’t think he allowed the Word to change him.

For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

H1WeWon a No Show After the Game

2009-11-30T09:41:00.004-06:00

Employers are amazed at the masses of workers showing up to do their jobs today after what many of the thought would be a massive reduction of staff due to the 24 hour sickness know as h1WeWon virus. While it was expected to hit Saskatchewan the hardest with projections of absenteeism as high as 85%, many other western provinces were also prepared to deal with an absent Rider Nation. Scientists we called and put on the spot were confounded at the viruses’ lack of bite this year after what was predicted to be the worst outbreak of H1WeWon since 2007 – the last time the Rider nation had anything to celebrate. But when asked for their expert opinion many of the scientists agreed it seemed that a sudden, almost magical strengthening of the Rider Nations autoimmune system is to thank for fighting off the virus – almost as if it had an extra autoimmune system helping it along.
Local doctors also weighed in with their opinions of the h1WeWon virus by stating that the lack of alcohol, cigarette, and casino spending may be a pretty good indication that h1WeWon was never a consideration after last nights game. ‘You see,’ Dr. Vegan Von Voogensmoogen stated, ‘in order for the virus to be effective it needs an extra influx of beer and other alcoholic beverages. By itself the h1WeWon virus is almost harmless but if it ever gets reinforced (which it often is) by alcohol it makes for one nasty hangover.’ Thankfully the Rider Nation has nothing to worry about today and employer’s can effectively and collectively meet their target goals and daily quotas today without any fear.
Mean while, armchair quarterbacks were asked for their opinions they seem to agree with Christopher, 'The Riders are able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory and tomorrow my workers will pay for it as I get my whip out.' Ahh, the effects of the H1WeLost virus...

Faithfullessness

2009-11-26T22:37:00.001-06:00

I cheated on you tonight, I went back to an old lover. Honestly, we’ve become bland together, predictable, almost dare I say - one. But tonight I was out with some friends when I looked across the room and our eyes met – for a moment I failed to recognize and should have looked away – back to you, but something tickled the back of my memory... and I lingered. It was in that moment the emotions came flooding back, the memories washed over me, and the excitement I felt was brand new. I could not control myself. For this I am sorry. I know I never told you about the way things were - but I never thought for a moment that the past would haunt me, no trespass on my present.

I don’t expect you to understand, nor do I deserve your forgiveness – it’s something I could never ask for. Indeed when I went out tonight I expected to come right back and be none the wiser, but oh how fortune twists our fates. The time that you and I have spent together has been the cool of the water washing over the edge of a cliff – the result has been pure beauty for all who see us... and I should have been content. But if I may, the old memories of the rapids crashing against the rocks and the power of midnight moon pulling us together was simply too much for me to overcome. For all the calmness of the ocean that I see in your eyes was scrubbed away by narrow twists and sudden turns of the mountain glacier melting around me. The freshness, the youth and the abandon – nothing mattered – only the night.

The deed is done and I wonder can things ever been the same between us. The reality of course is never as good as the memory, and I long to come back to normal with you – but can you accept my failure? Can you forgive? We’ve been together for so long now; will one night erase all we’ve worked for? All I can say is I’m truly sorry my old friend... Please oh please I promise next time I’ll be there for you Captain Morgan but for now I’m finding myself in the arms of Southern Comfort...

CHANGE YOUR STUPID COMMERCIALS!

Poppies, Voting and Veterans

2009-11-10T18:08:00.001-06:00

I was told the other day that if I didn’t vote in the civic election I had no right to wear a poppy. At the time I thought it was a meaningless statement made by an ignorant thoughtless old man and the more I thought about it the more I personally thought it was an ignorant statement.

Every year I wear a poppy to remember my Moshum. You see, he fought in WWII and would always tell me the stories of his experience. I loved my Moshum very much.

Years later in university I would find out things that my Moshum never told me. In Indigenous Studies 110 I learned the treatment of the First Nations Veterans as opposed to other Canadian Veterans. Many of our First Nations Veterans tell stories of how when they first applied to be soldiers, many of them were rejected simply because they were ‘Indians’. But because they wanted to fight in the war they would apply under a different ethnicity – I have to wonder if my Moshum applied under Scottish heritage. Not every First Nation applicant had to enlist under a different ethnicity but there was enough to create a historic marker for our people.

A big reason the First Nations people wanted to take part and fight in the war was by the advice of our elders, ‘What will happen to our treaties if this little what man defeats the Great White Mother who holds our treaties? We must help.’ To defend our treaties was a large reason we fought, historic records show that our people volunteered in a greater number per captia as compared to other Canadians. Because of the skewed reasoning of not enlisting First Nations as First Nations this number is believed to be greater yet.

After the war when the veterans came back home they expected a change for themselves and their families. You see, during the war while in the foxholes, or while marching for days, or dodging bullets it didn’t matter who you were, you depended on each other. The color of your skin faded as the fear and threat of death blanketed over you. The expectation became equally treated by the country you fought for.

The reality became ugly. Canadian Veterans got money for business or farming, land for homes, education and easy access to this help. The First Nations veterans were passed around from Veteran Affairs and the Indian Department of Canada, each claiming the First Nations veterans were the responsibilities of the other. This problem was compounded by the then current policy of Canada regarding First Nations people, ‘Indians still needed to get a pass from the overseeing Indian Agent before leaving the Reservation’, so to even get off the reserve to apply for Veteran Benefits the First Nation Veteran needed approval. This policy wasn’t changed until 1962, First Nations couldn’t even have a lawyer represent their causes in court – it was illegal.

When the reality of First Nation Veteran benefits began to appear, they were given a fraction of the money other Canadian Veterans received, the land they received was a quarter section ‘on reserve’. This meant they didn’t actually receive lands because land on an ‘Indian Reserve could not be bought, sold, or even owned’ in fact ‘Indian land’ actually is held in trust by the Government of Canada. First Nation Veteran ownership of reserve land was a misnomer.

My Moshum had fought in the war just like so many other Canadian Grandfathers and like so many – lost family and friends. The enemy made no distinction to who the Canadians were, their bullets killed indiscriminately. You would think the treatment of the survivors would be the same, but sadly some of those survivors were First Nation.

Today the First Nation Veterans are still fighting for equal treatment, the Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations (FSIN) has worked for better implantation of Veteran rights and recently the Assembly of First Nations (AFN) has picked up the fight. There is much work to be done and disagreements exist between our bargaining parties. I don’t think it should be so hard, we just want equality.

In the light of this – why do I wear a poppy? I remember my Moshum who fought in a war. I understand the historic treatment of our First Nations Veterans as opposed to Canadian Veterans. I remember the unrest and disagreement between our own governments and unwillingness to acknowledge the equal sacrifice. If I don’t vote it’s not because I don’t care about democracy, it’s because I remember the sacrifices of the First Nations Veterans for this democracy. That is why I wear a poppy.

Lest We Forget

Our

First Nations Veterans

Longing

2009-11-09T10:30:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I feel like the Thunderbird
And I wish I could say
Soaring above everything
Everyone
Close to the Creator
As only Thunderbird can

But it’s not like that
When I feel like the Thunderbird
Rather I feel
Alone
On a mountain of ice
Shimmering in the cold

Beckoning in the darkness
For all to come to me
But leaving the door to my lodge
Firmly locked

Sometimes I feel like the Thunderbird
Longing for to soar over it all
And
Sometimes I feel like the Thunderbird
Longing for all I soar over

November

2009-11-06T13:47:00.001-06:00

Suddenly it’s November and our pitiful excuse for a summer has gone, even the leaves of the trees have changed color, falling to the ground to leave us with the inevitable promise of winter. Fall always seems a time of reflection for me, the space in between the bare trees and falling snow just gives me pause. You see, after any summer of hot beautiful days Fall comes to remind me that even though I’ve had good days this past year, there is no proof that it will always be like that. So every winter I look forward to a blizzard or two, a few times of frost bite, and even a cold or two because each problem becomes a new problem to overcome. Many of my friends hate winter and for many of the same reasons I look forward to it, but like an annoying buzzer waking you up from a peaceful dream winter forces us to consider life. We know it’s a cold time in life, we know it’s harsh and we know it’s coming. And because we know, we plan accordingly. The changing seasons give us an example of our lives, we don’t always have sunny days to splash in cool waters but no matter what we can make the best of our situations, like the snow boarders and children who make snow angels.

God's majestic voice thunders his commands, creating miracles too marvelous for us to understand. Snow and heavy rainstorms make us stop and think about God's power Job 37:4-7

Showers and Residental Schools

2009-10-02T14:40:00.002-06:00

I’m a residential school survivor. I went to Marivel Residential School on Cowessess Indian Band, it was down the valley and I attended for two years when I was 8 and 9 years old. I got 13,000 dollars from the government last year because of it. I remember a lot of things, forgot a lot of things, and buried a lot of things I never want to remember again. Now years have passed and I have moved on with my life leaving that experience behind me. I’m a successful 33 year old living a healthy lifestyle, I never let my experience at residential school keep me down. I’ve worked all my life and paid my own way, worked at and received my education, and have helped out my community in many ways. On top of it all, I’ve had a good life and I’m happy.

Last year while I was in university and where I like to go work out also because they have a world class training facility, the main shower/change room was closed for renovations. Not a problem as the university provided alternative showers in the Cougar Team’s locker room. That was fine by me so I went in there, changed into my gym wear, went to worked out, then came back and got ready to shower.
Unlike the normal university change room showers which had basically 8 shower heads in one open room, the Cougar Team room had concrete individual showers with a curtain for privacy – very similar to what my residential school had. At first I brushed my sudden fear aside as silliness. After all, it was years and years since anything had happened to me in a shower room, and I have since showered in public showers many times before – always group shower rooms though, never individual showers. It seemed unreasonable that this sudden minor change in my after workout shower routine should have any effect on me. Right?
So I got in and drew the curtain closed for my privacy, turned on the shower on, and began to wash myself. No big deal, I do it at home.
The voices on the other side of the curtain seemed to taunt me, laughing, and talking about stuff I chose to ignore. Other people would get in and out of the other shower stalls – turning water on and turning water off. Somebody snapped a towel at a friend and people giggle.
In my mind, I’m not at the university anymore – I’ve gone back to the residential school and I’m scared in the shower just before bedtime. I’m trying to hurry, I want to finish before anyone gets in the shower with me. I want to get out so I can dry off and put on my P.J.’s then jump into bed. I feel safe in bed because my bed is right in front of the stairwell – where the light is always on and I’m never in the dark.
But as I step out of the Cougar Team shower and look around, I have to tell my beating heart to slow down – ‘I’m safe, no one is going to hurt me.’ I have to swallow a lump of fear in my throat as I begin to dry off while thinking, ‘I’m a big guy now, and no one here is going to hurt me.’
I get dressed and walk out of the locker room but the experience is too much for me. I refused to go back to the gym until the renovations were completed – three months later.

Healing is a long journey, and the scars never go away. I hope when you read this, it helps you understand why the residential school system impacted the aboriginal people so much. I drank for the next while, trying to forget memories I thought I had forgotten.

Position Anew...

2009-08-10T10:48:00.001-06:00

It’s a huge area and I don’t even know where to begin but yet it seems like a natural progression for me. I’ve accepted a position with another local organization to be a life skills coach with people who are dealing HIV/AIDS and other sexual infections. This includes and draws up on my previous experience of dealing with addictions, family, and personal growth issues in a positive and constructive way. As of yet I’m unsure what to expect from my position but I am looking forward to engaging my skills and learning new ones that university never taught me. I also look forward to writing about my new experiences in a thought provoking and educational manner. So I hope that having come this far with me you will continue to humor me as I continue down this road and try to make sense of this next chapter in my life.

Who is like the wise man? Who knows the explanation of things? Wisdom brightens a man’s face and changes its hard appearance. Ecclesiastes 8:1

12 Steps of Facebook

2009-08-01T13:11:00.001-06:00

Step 1 We admitted we are powerless over Facebook – that our lives have become unimportant due to Facebook’s importance.

Step 2 Came to believe that only another social networking site better than Facebook could restore us to sanity... but we know that isn’t possible so all hope is lost...

Step 3 Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Facebook and understand each status update.

Step 4 Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of all of our friends on Facebook and LMAO at them.

Step 5 Admitted to Facebook, to our friends, and family just how addicted we are through our own status updates

Step 6 Were entirely ready to have Facebook let the world know about these defects of character via status update, picture post, note or any other way deemed necessary

Step 7 Humbly ask Facebook to protect our privacy with the understanding that it’s hard to do when we’ve allowed so much to be published about ourselves in the first place.

Step 8 Made a list of all persons we harmed or were willing to harm through the ‘I’m keeping an eye on you’ application.

Step 9 Have poked, thrown monkeys at, body slammed, served a drink, even kinky poked when necessary.

Step 10 Continued to take personal inventory and when we are wrong promptly blame Facebook Drama.

Step 11 Sought through prayer and mediation applications to fool ourselves into thinking we are having a conscious contact with God even though we know Facebook is slowly replacing Him

Step 12 Having an awakening to Facebook as a result of these steps we try to invite our family, friends and complete strangers to become addicted to Facebook and to practice poking, stalking, super poking, etc in all of our online affairs.

“You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods.” Exodus 20:4,5a

Aboriginal Horoscopes II

2009-07-18T01:31:00.001-06:00

One of my more popular posts seems to be the Aboriginal Horoscope page so I just thought I’d update it for a new year. My original intention was to do one every month but you know how fickle I can get, but perhaps I’ll write a few more and get ahead of myself here. personally I really like the idea of an aboriginal horoscope. Here is my original post and further information on why I started writing an Aboriginal Horoscope.

Enjoy!

Kisê-pîsim – The Great Moon – January - Deer.

You gotta make a batch of fry bread soon, don’t be shy! Make lots! You got family and friends to entertain soon so show them a good time, maybe a BBQ, or order a bucket of KFC, what ever you do just make sure and give them your best. But you always do that anyway, don’t ya? Lucky Casino this month: Bear Claw!

Mikisiwi-pîsim – The Eagle Moon - Eagle - February

It’s summer time! Get out and play some golf, go for a hike, camp, ride a horse (or a cowboy), go to a strange pow wow, but what ever you do get out of the house and enjoy the sun. You know how short our summers are so don’t be afraid to disconnect from Facebook, or the Xbox360 – don’t worry, they’ll be there when you get back! Lucky Casino: Bear Claw!

Niski-pîsim – The Goose Moon – Cougar - March

Men in shorts sweating and grunting while groping each other might be your favorite viewing on television but being a UFC champ is going take so much more than learning the moves of a pro! Stop the Double Gulps and chips and get back to the gym, trust me – your pancreas will thank you. A mouse might try to sneak something by you later this month, crush them! Lucky Casino: Casino Regina, East Wing, North wall, near the corner!

Ayikî-pîsim – The Frog Moon – Beaver - April

Atee Ney! That’s still your Cousin! Leave them alone! Try your luck at the Painted Hand Casino instead!!!

Sâkipakâwi-pîsim – The Budding Moon – Bear - May

Go berry picking, slow down and relax – you don’t always have to be going going going! Take a breath and enjoy a bit of life, talk to your elders, play with you kids, spend time with your sweetie pie and don’t feel bad for doing it! It’s good for you, feel that tension leave your body at the Dakota Dunes Casino! But be wary of a cunning mouse.

Pâskâwihowi-pîsim – The Hatching Moon – Thunderbird - June

Still having problems with that old car eh? Maybe it’s time to move on, get a fresh start with a new beast – one that will actually be able to drive to the city and back without needing a tow! War ponies got old also and had to be put out to pasture, why not do the same thing for your baby, you know she’s served you well in your travels! For a possible financial boost consider a victory drive to the Northern Lights Casino and play the penny machines for a long time.

Paskowi-Pîsim – The Moulting Moon – Coyote - July

I see a vision quest coming your way! Four days of practicing self control, dealing with the mental anguish, physical exhaustion and long hours of denial… Oh wait… that’s just the in-laws coming for a visit… for four days! Try to get away and scoot over to the Golden Eagle Casino before they make you see red.

Ohpahowi-pîsim – The Flying Up Moon – Mouse - August

This is not the time to be a mouse, rise up and roar with all you got! Get your voice and your ideas heard, fight for every opportunity to advance your cause and do not give up! You may feel like a Deer is standing in your way but their inability to focus on the bigger picture only makes you look smarter by comparison and will get you noticed. Now, go get them, because you know you can! Once you’ve declared victory head on over to the Dakota Dunes Casino for some roulette and cover the spread.

Nôcihitowi-pîsim – The Mating Moon – Salmon - September

Feeling ill? Consult a doctor and follow their directions perfectly because lets face it, they know what’s wrong with you, how to cure it, how long it will last and you don’t. But I betcha you’re told to take three huge pills and drink lots water! You know where you got sick from too so make sure they know what they have to do! Because it isn’t normal to piss fire! Stay away from the casinos for a while!

Pinaskâwi-pîsim – The Migrating Moon – Turtle - October

Feeling out of place? Are things happening to slow for your liking? Does everyone else seem to be in the groove and getting things done? Perhaps you’re out of your element. Turtles are free in water, fast and nimble able to avoid pit falls and predators with ease but feel slow and cumbersome on land – caught easily if they wander too far from their stream. Think about it at the Moose Jaw Casino this weekend!

Iyikopiwi-pîsim – The Frost Moon – Wolf - November

The little people are going to come visit you soon! Put out spoons and forks in low places so they can reach them easily. Don’t be afraid of them they just like your shiny things but you might want to lock up any precious metals for a while, you know – just in case they mistake your shiny earrings for a gift. Once they’ve out stayed their welcome and have taken every last utensil forcing you to use plastic cutlery, put out some tobacco on the floor. Wanna see them get wacky? Mix in some of your special green herb with it. The gifts you give come back to you at the Northern Lights Casino.

Pawâcakinasîsi-pîsim – The Frost Exploding Trees Moon – Spider – December

Get a hobby! Bead, Paint, photography, tan hides, make canoes anything! There’s so much more to life than working all the time! What are you gonna tell that sweetie you meet when she asks you, ‘so what do you do for fun?’ The truth? You’ve been working and sleeping for the past three months! Stop it! Strong webs need more than your silk, expand your interests and find new skills to have fun with! You might enjoy it. Look for a bear of a partner while enjoying the Dakota Dunes Casino.

Sasquatch or 'Elder Brother'

2009-07-15T19:01:00.001-06:00

I have never seen Bigfoot, or Sasquatch, but we call him ‘Elder Brother’ for he was here before we were. Winter and winters ago he would help us and talk with us, hunt with us and swim with us but never war with us or battle beside us. He chose to let us deal with out own affairs offering his wisdom and help only in times of peace. He was a spiritual leader – offering prayers and guidance, often disappearing for days or months at a time to seek the creators counsel. In times of need he would offer warnings – floods, droughts and storms would be made know to us before the happened. His spiritual foresight often helped our people to survive these times of need. We respected him, never trying to impose our will on him – we understood he was more spiritual than physical.
It was the brotherhood that bonded us together. He had watched out for our needs and we treated as a relative. Since time immemorial this was the way it was, but this was to change with the coming of another people. Being ‘Elder Brother’ he knew the trouble we would have to endure and how long it would last before we would again find out footing and reclaim our own destiny. During this time ‘Elder Brother’ felt the changing dynamics of the land would require him to go into hiding for a people who caged animals for show, trained animals to make money and hunted for sport or fur would not understand the offerings of ‘Elder Brother’.
So, slowly as our people were caged on to lands without walls or fences, ‘Elder Brother’ backed out of our lives. But before he left he opened up a way for our elders and medicine men to continue to seek his counsel and wisdom. In times of need a gateway was opened up for us to seek him out and even though he’d be in the deep woods, or trekking though the mountains he would not abandon us. You see, inside the sweat lodge with the turtle shell rattle and moose hide drum we could sing the song to open the spirit door. In the darkness that blinded us, the steam that overwhelmed our smell and the rattle and drum buried our ears with an earthquake of sound our elder would go though the spirit door. The deep vocals of his song would change, becoming more primal – harsher to the ear. Inhuman. If though the dark you could see you would not believe – or maybe you would as you saw the elder grow till he was 10 or 14 feet tall, as the hair forced its way through every folic of his body to cover his nakedness, and as his hands and feet grew large and strong.
The flap to the lodge would open and our elder would leave – we were to wait and sing until he returned. Our elder had changed, crossed over into the spirit realm – more spirit than physical; he could now travel over the lands in huge strides that ate the land beneath. Alone our elder would hunt our ‘Elder Brother’, with eyes sharper than a hawk, ears keener than a mouse listening for a hawk; he would range from forests, to hills, to rivers, and mountains. Once ‘Elder Brother’ was found together they would discuss the problems faced – sometimes if the elder was lucky more ‘elder Brothers’ would be found and council could beheld. Within this council much wisdom could be gleaned and direction far in to the future could be known.
Once all the answers were discussed a plan could be made and the elder would return to the sweat lodge. Hours may have passed and the ones left behind singing would be exhausted from the singing and the sweating in the dark, but stopping meant our elder returning to his physical state where ever he was and perhaps being lost forever. ‘Elder Brother’ promised a day when we wouldn’t need this power anymore, but for now he hides.

Deer Women

2009-05-25T00:37:00.001-06:00

Sometimes I wonder about an old story I heard when I was young. My Moshum loved to tell me stories and every night as I went sleep he would sit in my room tell me so many different kinds. That one he like to tell the most was always about coyote, our trickster – but he also had many stores about the Indian brave who raided the enemies camp, or about Thunderbird, or Bear – he’d tell me about the little people and of Windigo’s and a host of others characters. I loved his stories and try to remember as many as I can.
Only once did he tell me this story and it was only after my Nukom passed on – I think he wanted it that way. Now I had always thought of the Windigo’s as the most terrifying creature he knew, but there was to be something so deceptive of Deer Woman that scared me so much it made me cry. I never wanted to meet a Deer Woman.
My Moshum told me Deer Woman was Beautiful with dazzling eyes and long soft black hair. If I ever encountered one I would not want to look away because she would be so pretty. She would smile at me and want to play games, perhaps she would sing and captivate my ears with her spiritual voice. If I followed her we would play games and she would tell me not to worry about anything. With her I would play through out the day until night fall. But at that point I'd be far away from home and she’d ask me to say the night and because the day was so much fun I’d say yes. She’s sing me a lullaby underneath the starry sky and even the moon would shine brighter as it listened to her. The next morning I’d wake up and if I was lucky I’d be alone and might find my way home but my life would be forever changed as I would always long and want to play with my new friend. He told me I’d never be the same because I’d always want to find her – I thought that was sad and never wanted to meet a deer woman. What cold be worse than that? I didn’t think anything could be worse.
But what if after spending the night with her I’d awaken to find her still there? My Moshum told me what to expect. Together we would play endless games day and night as I slowly forgot about all the other aspects of my life, my family, friends, school, even my dogs and cat. I would waste away because I would forget about myself with my only concern being playing with my new friend. Because I’d be so infatuated with her beauty and her voice I’d pay no mind to the difference she had. Her hair would so long and soft that the antlers rising out of her head would seem so natural that I’d never bat and eye. As we sang and danced together it would seem perfectly normal that her thighs would be covered with fur, like deer legs. The only thing that might be able to save me, if I was strong enough to fight her off and escape that is, would be her hooves; everything would be acceptable until then. Seeing the hooves would just be wrong. Of course she would want no part of me leaving so she would start kicking me and stomping me to death with her hooves. In an already weakened state I’d offer no resistance and that would be the end of me and Deer woman would go off to find her next victim.
As I look around today and think about the women I’ve met and have been a part of my romantic life I have to wonder how many of them have been deer women. Many of them have only wanted to party or to play head games with as many players as they could – no thoughts for the future. As I’ve grown up I’ve come to understand that the games Deer woman wanted to play could have included so much more, I may have thought ‘tickle monster’ or ‘tag’ or even ‘hide and seek’ but also emotional games, sexual games are also a part of her plans. Now, I’ve never seen antlers or hooves but the spiritual warning has been the same nor have I ever been stomped on but I’ve watched friends and family waste away in addictions as they seem to be left behind by other family members. Of course it hasn’t just been women but men also have eaten the spirits of young women, reducing their lives to nothing more than an object to be used. Yes, I’ve heard rumours and stories of Deer men also.
The intent of these stories was never to assign blame for all the wrongs that happen in life or to say women are evil creatures or that men can’t control their urges but rather to bring understanding of life. If you were aware of the dangers of living for the moment you’d be better able to pick a spouse that also planned for the future. But if the moment offered too much excitement for you, there will always be a host of instant gratification to satisfy you’re every hunger or whim. Addictions come in many shapes and forms, alcohol, smoking weed, harder drugs, sexual addiction – always something to make you forget the future. Days pass in addiction, turning into weeks and months slowly draining the life out of you. Very often it is too late that people realize what harm their addiction has done to their lives and it is too late to go back. Deer woman was a warning to men to be careful, there was so much more to life.
An interesting tidbit about deer woman lately is that a few years ago a local First Nation was holding its annual pow wow and while Grand Entry was happening someone noticed this one dancer. She would dance quite proudly and was dressed in beautiful regalia, but every time she stood up her dress lifted up to reveal what appeared to be hooves. Everyone stopped to stare at her, the drummers stopped the elders looked on and out of the crowd a chant arose, ‘Deer Women! Deer Women! Deer Women!’ The young lady who was the focus of everyone’s attention looked around wildly for a moment before bounding through the crowd and disappearing into the bush. The people who tried to follow her could not keep up. I listened to this story from many different sources and it stayed relatively similar through the telling. That season I listened to the pow wow trail and whispers were heard from many different First Nations of about a dancer disappearing, or seeing a person with either hooves or antlers.
With so many people only living for the moment today it would seem to me at least, that deer woman still dances with us.

Little People or the Geow-lud-mo-sis-eg

2009-04-25T13:08:00.002-06:00

So I was camping at a friends place down on the valley of our First Nation when I was very small. As kids do we jumped and played around outside with each other and generally just enjoyed the day. I don’t remember much of what we did other than chase each other around the back of the house and across the road way and maybe climbed one or two small valley hills. But night began to fall and we were called inside to have a late supper of food Indians like to eat and drinks Indians like to drink after which we piled into the living room and watched movies til late in the night.
It was a great time to be me, my family surrounded me, and friends played around with me, and my dogs loved me. I never had to worry about food or clothes or trips to town, my Moshum took care of all of that and I was happy. Eventually the night got late and we all got tired and scattered to our beds. I had a small guest room across from the bathroom not far down the hall from the kitchen. I slept soundly, peacefully.
The next morning I awoke to the sound of utensils rattling around in the kitchen; I was surprised because the clock on the wall said 6AM – very early for breakfast. But I thought if I got up I could help make breakfast by doing something like setting the table. Out to the kitchen I went, quietly, slowly as I was a guest and wasn’t sure if I should be doing anything like this. As I crept around the corner my eyes went wide with fright and wonder for what I seen I had no context for. There was one on the counter, another one on the floor and digging through an open drawer was another one. They all stopped and looked at me – frozen.
Suddenly, they all bolted and as they ran out through that sliding balcony door and I took up the chase – out of more curiosity than fear. I got to the door just in time to see them jumping over the balcony side and as I pushed through the door and stepped outside I could hear them hooting a hollering to others in the bushes. I scampered to the edge of the balcony to watch them disappear into the bush one by one. That last one – he ran funny because he was carrying a knife and wobbling as he ran, like he was getting tired from carrying it.
I stood there… dumbfounded at what I just saw…

I could try to describe what they were but all I could really say about them was they were little people. The three of them together had very similar appearances, long hair, brown pants and no shirt. It seems to me and my memory that they had some sort of moccasins on their feet. Now understand that when I say ‘little people’ I don’t mean people that were short had broken into the house to steal silverware but rather these were LITTLE people, they were tiny – foot and a half tall maybe two feet at the most. They did not have the features of children, nor of stunted growth people but rather perfectly formed people where were small in stature.
Did they have long braided hair? Yes. Did they have perfectly formed bodies like you see in all the Indian movies? No, in fact the one I seen running away with the knife actually had a pot belly. What did they sound like? Actually they sounded like birds calling or chirping to each other – now if they were only warning calls I don’t know – but I know that’s what I heard and maybe they talked to each other differently.

Anyway, I turned back to go inside and there standing by the door was the lady of the house looking down at me. I was worried she’d blame me for messing up the kitchen and making a ruckus so early in the morning and I’d have no excuse to defend myself. Like come on, little people did this? Would she believe me? I figured I was going to be sent home and told I wouldn’t be able to come back. Ever.
“They like shiny things,” was all she said to me. I nodded and went back inside, she had already picked up the silverware that had been on the floor and spread out on the counters so all I could do was go back to bed.
I couldn’t really sleep after that, I had too many questions running through my head about what I saw but had no way of asking. It seemed so strange to me. Later that day I tried to go into the bush where I seen the Little People go but my friends grabbed me and told me no. I was determined to go look and see what I could find and my friends began begging with me and pleading with me not to do it. I’ll always remember the terror in their eyes as they pleaded with me not to go further. It was that terror that got to me, they really believed the Little People would take me away.

Bar-B-Queing Our Spring Away

2009-04-23T15:48:00.002-06:00

The sun was bright and the day was warm as we drove around gathering up our bar-b-que stuff – to the Co-op for propane, Superstore for the meat and fixings – all the stuff you’d expect at a family bar-b-que. It wasn’t much really, a few steaks, and some potatoes – but we sat in the sun and talked to each other, laughed at each other, and yelled out hockey scores as we found them out. The puppy begged for the food he smelt, the kids played with a small ball and a neighbour came over to have a steak himself. As we planned where our fire pit would go we simply enjoyed each other’s company in the fresh spring air, simply thankful winter was finally gone. It didn’t matter that the entire family wasn’t there, or that it wasn’t a fancy spread of food like you see on television, even the fact that we couldn’t find cheese. For a moment the addictions didn’t matter, the fights that have a habit of popping up from time to time didn’t happen and the host of family issues that every family has didn’t come to mind that night. It wasn’t much, but we never tried to be much – only family and we love each other.

A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see is from the hand of God. For without him, how can eat or find enjoyment?
Ecclesiastes 2: 24-25

Your time, My time, Healing time

2009-04-15T13:20:00.001-06:00

How does a family heal? Through many generations of abuses and hurts there are many different points of hurt to deal with. Individuals must come to terms with their own pains first of all – than be willing to deal with the cause of the hurt and this often involves another person. If the other person isn’t willing to deal with or is unable to talk about the trauma this can create barriers to communication, so the hurt continues. Sometimes this leads to offence because we feel we have been wronged again because our emotional plea isn’t being acknowledged. But if we want to follow Christ the Creator down this road of faith, hope and love we must be willing to accept that healing takes time and often for many different people – not at the same rate it took us. Looking for ways to facilitate health and healing can be much more constructive than holding onto our pain, but we must be willing to accept that it may take years for all of us to stop masking the hurt with addictions and begin to work through it. Are you willing to take that responsibility? It can start with you.

This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 1 John 3:11

Interacting with the Generations

2009-04-09T11:37:00.000-06:00

Intergenerational healing a difficult task to undertake, emotions run high and memories of pain can be brought to the forefront of a persons mind. Memories of what mom did, or didn’t do can anger a young person; dad becomes a source of rejection because he was never there. Mothers look at a child and remember the events of their conception; this can be painful in cases of rape or from memories that were washed away because of too much alcohol or drugs. Fathers look at children and don’t want to take responsibility so they state those are not their children but still want to engage in unprotected sexual behaviour. We grow with these emotions and we place them aside in our hearts and since we never talk about them we never know what to do about them – so we act out in unhealthy ways that harm those around us. My personal journey has been rough with my parents and through the hurt and the anger I’ve learned something – if people can talk about what hurts within the relationship, healing can begin through the forgiving power of Christ the Creator.

But LORD, you remain the same forever! Your throne continues from generation to generation. Why do you continue to forget us? Why have you abandoned us for so long? Restore us, O LORD, and bring us back to you again! Give us back the joys we once had! Lamentations 5:19-21

Hobbies

2009-04-06T21:57:00.001-06:00

As some of you may know, one of my hobbies is photography and this past weekend the 31st annual first nations pow wow happened here in Regina and I was able to snap many many pictures. Here is the link where you can view them.

Photos - First Nations University of Canada 31st Annual Pow Wow

Happy viewing!

We Only Live Once

2009-04-01T09:27:00.000-06:00

A big justification I hear coming from people is, ‘we only live once’. In and of itself this is true, but when used to justify harmful or unhealthy behavior it is a dangerous and unjustifiable suggestion. We as a society have learned so much about the human body and how substances affect it, that it is sheer ignorance to ignore the proven facts. Too many drugs harm the body, too much drinking destroys the liver, ingesting lots of sugar can bring on diabetes and pancreatic failure, smoking leads to cancer and unprotected sex with multiple partners can spread STD’s (even with the use of condoms). We know we fight when we drink but we still drink, we know our families suffer when we cheat on our partner but we still cheat, and we know our lies eventually cause more trouble but we still lie. We want to talk about intergenerational healing but we would rather go through life running, hiding, and covering up our pain. Maybe it’s time we took a step towards dealing with our issues and finding help because after all, we only live once.

It is not an enemy who taunts me— I could bear that. It is not my foes who so arrogantly insult me— I could have hidden from them. Instead, it is you—my equal, my companion and close friend. What good fellowship we once enjoyed as we walked together to the house of God. Psalms 55:12-14

Intergenerational Healing

2009-03-24T17:36:00.001-06:00

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about the hurt between generations of family members and how this generally cycles over and over. A cycle unless broken will happen again and again and after seeing three or four generations of people experience hurt from various sources and seeing the inability to do anything about it I thought at the very least I could organize my thoughts on this matter over the next three or four weeks and see what comes up.

So, for those of you who stayed with me through my Mom columns – Thank you, I know I’m not done with that yet but that’s all I’m going to write for now. Anyway, I hope you enjoy ‘Intergenerational Healing’ over the coming weeks.

The Beast.

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I believe we are a broken people and we need healing. Relationships have been damaged through the cycles of addiction, abuse and neglect. The fantasies of ‘I’m always right, the victim, the scapegoat, or no one ever listens to me’ need to be put aside. We are a family, a community, and a group of people that cannot and will not make it as individuals. We need each other. We need to forgive each other, let ourselves be forgiven, and forgive ourselves if we want to continue down the path of healing. Our youth have no say in the kind of life they are born into, our young adults are mired in addictions and have been hurt by the addictions of their parents and our elders are slowly learning sobriety and healthy living after a life time of being hurt and hurting others – three or four generations of hurt, pain and rejection! This has got to stop! Christ the Creator offers us the help, direction and healing if we would look to him and ask him – but start by taking responsibility for ourselves.

Christ the Creator said: If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14.

Cycles of Addictions

2009-03-03T16:06:00.000-06:00

Addictions can cycle through generations and wreck havoc down a family line. I’ve watched my mother drink herself to death – it was horrible experience. I’ve watched my sister follow the same path even through her attempts at sobriety – using education, working, even her children as a reason to stay clean. But pain and addiction have a way of wearing down even the most dedicated. Like our mother she is using alcohol to wash away pain and memories, losing herself in a drunken stupor – getting lost in hazy blackouts. Sometimes she asks me, ‘what happened? I only remember…’ Now her daughter is following. And she is only 16. Our children watch our actions – they learn from our lifestyles. ‘Do as I say, don’t do as I do’ we tell them but wonder why when we find out our children are drinking or doing drugs. Why doesn’t Christ the Creator teach our kids his ways of faith, hope and love? Because we’re teaching them that our addictions are more important.

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6

My Mommy

2009-02-24T16:55:00.001-06:00

When I turned 18 I made the effort to find my birth mother, after some searching I found her. She was at my Kukom’s whom I also just met the week before and after saying hello and hugging me – she said she had to get to bingo. And left. A couple of days later I came over again but she was too engrossed in the TV show ‘Colombo’ to pay me much mind or talk to me – than she went to bingo. As this treatment continued her sister watched and began to reach out to me. Calling me over for meals, helping me out when I needed it, introducing me to her children and grandchildren. She always cooked me breakfast. She called me her son. She never forgot me. She scolded me too if I needed to hear it. She loved me and my birth mom didn’t seem to care, so for the next 14 years my aunt became my Mom. I will always be grateful to Christ the Creator for her because I was able to love her back – as my Mom.

When Jesus saw his mother there, and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, "Dear woman, here is your son," and to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that time on, this disciple took her into his home. John 19:26-27

Anti-Mother Figure

2009-02-17T12:09:00.002-06:00

“As soon as I seen you I knew exactly what kind of kid you were”, my Uncles’ wife once said to me. Sometime later I was hit by a car and taken to the hospital and the police officers who took me there were also nice enough to bring me home when it was all done. “See?” She said, “I always knew you’d bring the police here.” That was the only time I ever did, but she always believed that I was bad, always in trouble, always one step away from being sent off to a youth home because I was out of control. She called herself a woman of God as she threw me down the stairs, told me to quit lying to her as she choked me, and threatened to stab me for looking around at dinner. I hated her. She wasn’t my mom. It took me 13 years before I considered forgiving her, another year to come to a place where I could say, “I forgive you.” It was realizing she was also broken before the Lord that brought me understanding.

Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. Matthew 6:12-15

Twitter Me This, Twitter Me That

2009-02-09T20:21:00.001-06:00

Well guys, I've finally decided to go Twitter. So on the right you will see my Twitter space which I will be updating randomly - Happy Stalking!

Twitter Link

The Visit

2009-02-06T19:21:00.001-06:00

My birth mom did come visit me once. It was right after my Moshum passed away and I had no idea what was going to happen to me. I don’t know how she found out or why she decided to come see me that day. I don’t know what she was feeling or what she was expecting. I remember thinking as I sat across from her in that little room, ‘I don’t know who you are’. She wanted me to go live with her. She told me to think about it – and than she left. I had no idea what to think, or what I was supposed to think about. I sat there in confusion. Later that day my Uncle whom I knew came to pick me up and took me away to live in Winnipeg with him. The family I knew picked up the pieces for me and started putting it back together. I didn't hear from my birth mom again for many years.

I remember my affliction and my wandering, the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. Lamentations 3:19-22

Mom

2009-02-04T00:05:00.001-06:00

The end of this month will bring me to the one year anniversary of my Mom's passing and as I think, mourn and celebrate this - I have been forced to consider my birth mom. So for the next few weeks I thought I'd explore my emotions and journey surrounding what I know of her and how this affected me. Much the same way I've explored my relationship with my Dad and I guess how this reality forced me to look to Christ the Creator for my help and comfort. As always, I hope to be able to shine insight into anybodies journey and perhaps - healing. Ready? Let's Rock...

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My birth mom left me when I was only days old. I have no early memories of her. I was always told she threw me away – left me with my Moshum and Kokum. She should have known better they said. Kokum was wheelchair bound and Moshum drank too much. I was told she was out chasing men and drinking her life away. My Moshum and Kokum always told me they loved me, unlike my Mom. She never came to see me, or visit me and never remembered my birthday and always forgot Christmas. It was like I didn’t even exist to her. She knew where I was – I figured that out on my own. I was right where she left me. Aunties and uncles and cousins and friends and neighbours came to visit me. They brought me gifts and told me they would never forget me. Told me they loved me. But never my mom. Never.

“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!” Isaiah 49:15

Rant... Disposable Indians...

2009-01-12T23:34:00.001-06:00

Why can't it ever be a simple mistake, or an occurrence of a known issue, or this is how it happened. No. It's always a muddle of Poorly Trained Officers who can't seem to do their jobs right - To Serve and Protect. Instead we have another dead First Nations man whose last known place was in the back of an RCMP cruiser. If you've ever been in the back of a cruiser you know how difficult it is to escape. I'm just wondering... did the officer radio in that he had someone in the cruiser with him? I'm sure if he had and another officer had known he was coming in questions may have been asked sooner, but as it stands the officer states he searched for half an hour before calling in that he lost his prisoner. I wonder what the other call was that kept them from searching sooner, or why they waited so long before notifying the family? Finally, why are there all these questions to begin with? Who is going to be held accountable?

Another Dead Indian.

Also dead Indians by the hands of police are coming to be so common that they don't even make front page news anymore, I just happened to stumble on this story. I guess I'm going to have to find a term to use Google Alerts to notify me - dead Indians? RCMP strikes again? native at large, presumed dead?

sigh...

N.S. native man dead after RCMP shooting

RCMP officer charged with torture of Native man

You know what I just realized... all I entered was 'Native man, RCMP' and I got a list of 'native man dead after RCMP' type news reports on Google. Yeah, about four pages of dead Indians from across the nation of Canada. Who is being held accountable? Who?

Happy New Year!

2009-01-11T22:47:00.001-06:00

Happy New Year everyone!!

Judging from the sudden influx of members at the gym I see I'm assuming that most of us have resolved to losing all that holiday fat we've gained! I have achieved a personal best of 206 pounds this year, whereas I have previously never been over 190. Ideally, I'd like to hit 185 but we'll see where this years will power ends. Anyway.

You may have noticed that I have changed the Mars Hill Church video above this post to play a series call 'Generous' - it is a 4 part series that I hope will help you to understand a christian and the generous nature. If you want to head over to Mars Hill Church to view the rest or to find out more about my personal favourite media friendly pastor Mark Driscoll and what he believes and teaches feel free to do so! I personally love his teachings and highly recommend his words as a valuable insight into both spiritual matters and personal.

Anyway Lots is happening in both Indian land, the political sphere, and the Church world and I'm just too lazy to comment on anything. But if you do have troubles this year I hope you can think of this verse and have hope,

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. Revelation 12:11 NIV

It's a dirty fight sometimes people and we are overcomers!

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-23T21:03:00.001-06:00

To one and all! Regardless of whether or not you voted Liberal or believe in Buddha - Jesus Christ, Emmanuel or God with us was born in a manger with a purpose of you in mind! And to celebrate this wonderful birth December 25th has been put aside to give thanks to our Creator and Friend who would have us know his ways and redeem us from our sins. The small step of trusting a young girl to take care of the only begotten Son of God would pave the way to the Cross some 33 years later, and praise God it was for everyone. So whatever your personal belief happens to be I hope you won't be too offended by a simple Christian spreading some holiday cheer around the blog-o-sphere! Feliz Navidad! Joyeux Noel! Fröhliche Weihnachten! Sung Tan Chuk Ha! Merry Keshmish! I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart!!!

Behold, A virgin shall be with Child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us. Matthew 1:23

Canada's Parliament does not work like American elections

2008-12-06T23:39:00.001-06:00

It really is too bad that some people don't understand the type of democracy we live in. We are not America where they hold elections for a president - but rather this is Canada where we elect Members of Parliament (MP's) to a House of Commons to represent us. The leader of the party with the most seats (or MP's elected to serve) gets to be the Prime Minister. The word Prime means 'first' as in the First Minister, he than has the power to select a cabinet to help him govern the country. This Cabinet is made up of Ministers such as Minister of Agriculture, or Minister of Defence - each responsible to report to the Prime Minister (or First Minister) with regards to planning policy direction and progress reports.

Normally in a majority government (where one party holds more than half of the 308 seats available for election) the Prime Minister is able to pass laws without much bother as long as his party votes with him. Generally under these circumstances the PM will call and election every four or five years to get a new mandate from the people of Canada. Currently we have a minority government position meaning the ruling party only has more seats than the next leading party, but less than half of the 308 available seats - (that is less than 154 seats in total). Lets break the numbers down:

Conservatives = 143

Liberals = 77

Bloc = 49

NDP = 37

Independents = 2

These numbers mean that the Conservatives have less than half the available seats while the three opposition parties hold in total 165 seats. Now in order for this minority government to work and get bills or laws passed they must find 12 additional votes to support their motions. A normal healthy government will not have a problem finding support if they are willing to make amendments to their bills that satisfy the opposition parties (or garner enough support among members to break ranks and vote for the the bill) and/or include provisions that the opposition deem important. This is called co-operation.

Should the Prime Minister (leader of the party with the most seats) fail to gain enough support on confidence matters such as monetary matters (budgets, fiscal updates) the government will fail. In a minority situation such as this one, one of two things can happen - first the defeated Prime Minister can go to the Governor-General (GG) to ask for a dissolution of the House and take the country into another election to ask for another or stronger mandate, or the opposition parties can make a case to the GG that they can form a coalition government to continue government without an election (or the GG can ask the opposition parties if they can work together to form government).

(currently the PM has asked the GG to Prorogue the House to stop a confidence vote upon which he knows his government will fail - because he failed to 'co-operate' with the other parties and what he did finally budge on was too little to late. This is odd because in the normal flow of government a call to prorogue the House will come after a long or extended period of working a legislation, never has it been used to avoid a confidence matter so soon after an election.)

Because we have just come out of an election it is entirely acceptable that the opposition would or could assume power by forming a coalition. Remember The Bloc is not being given a veto power nor is it a part of the Liberal-NDP coalition they are only signing to provide stability to the government - they will be free to vote against the government on non-confidence matters (kinda like the opposite of a veto power). Also please note that the Conservatives have relied on the Bloc 14 times and two times on budget votes. The Bloc will not be getting any Senate seats out of this deal.

Fortunately, Harper doesn't have a leg to stand on. Constitutional scholars unanimously agree that the parties have the right to deliver a "no confidence" vote and strip him of his power. Mike Whitney, Global Research, December 6, 2008

It is too bad we have allowed such a precedent to happen where a PM can run away from confidence matters by closing down Parliament and not letting its members vote. It's also too bad my final paper wasn't on Canadian politics... I'd be half way done... But I do hope this bit explains why harper is not defending Canada inspite of all of his rhetoric to say otherwise. He is not a president who gets to keep his job like a lame duck president - he is accountable to deliver Responsible Government meaning he must have the support of the House to continue governing.

yer' welcome!

What Canada Looks Like in the Eyes of the World right now

2008-12-05T18:48:00.001-06:00

I just thought I'd let you all know what the world is saying about us right now... Well more specifically what the world is saying about Harper and his Parliament antics this past week.

The Guardian is wondering if our fearless leader (ahem) is actually "Bushier than Bush"...

"Right now, we fear for our jobs and the lives of our children. Canada's auto industry is a sandcastle at high tide. House prices are collapsing. We are nakedly, embarrassingly unprepared for climate change. But Harper slashed at his funny little pet hates, like pay equity for women, human rights commissions and federal cash to fund all political parties, things that had been toddling alone fine. Harper's no dragonslayer; he garrottes bunnies." Heather Mallick, December 05, 2008 - The Guardian.

Also from the UK the Telegraph is commenting from the perspective of a PM trying to keep his job, "Canadian Prime Minister shuts down Parliament to avoid no-confidence vote."

"Opposition politicians blasted Harper's methods.

I have friends calling me from other countries saying 'Oh well, don't worry, we've seen this happen in third world countries before, we've seen Parliament's get suspended, and people pull fast tricks in order to not face the will of Parliament,' but in Canada?," Liberal Bob Rae said. "I frankly don't regard his government as legitimate any more. His government is there because he avoided the will of Parliament."

Opposition New Democrat leader Jack Layton called it a sad day.

"He's trying to lock the door of Parliament so that the elected people cannot speak,» Layto said. «He's trying to save his job." Author, December 05, 2008 - The Telegraph.

The Australian decided to point out the fact that, "Canada Governor-General Michaelle Jean saves PM Stephen Harper from ousting"

The three Opposition parties charge that Mr Harper has no plan to steer Canada through the financial crisis. The coalition, which controls the majority of seats in parliament, had scheduled a confidence vote for Monday in which Mr Harper was certain to lose - a defeat that would have forced his Government from power or triggered another election.

But the Governor-General, who represents Britain's Queen Elizabeth as head of state, had the power to grant the unusual request to suspend parliament. Had she refused, Mr Harper would have had two choices: step down or face the vote. Author, December 06, 2008 - The Australian.

I personally don't like being compared to a third world country but... oh wait I'm from a First Nation in Canada... This past couple weeks have been quite interesting here in Canadian politics and I've enjoyed being an observer... looks like the world is enjoying it also.

Funny... This IS how I see harper...

2008-12-05T14:39:00.001-06:00

When I seen this I just had to post it! Its a fantastic gag comparing Hitler to Harper...

Mad Mad World.

2008-12-04T13:07:00.001-06:00

The World has gone mad and there is more than enough proof! If not a desperate PM trying to hold on to a minority government by not working with the other parties, or a Governor-General who decides its ok for said PM to avoid confidence votes before parliament even has a chance to vote, the final clue of a world gone mad comes to us from Boston. Apparently a state trooper decided rather than allow a woman in labour to use the breakdown lane of the freeway he would rather stop them, ask for proof of pregnancy, and issue a ticket for using the breakdown lane when not broken down.

Read it here...

In rush-hour labor, ticket delivered

"Not only did the trooper say no, he gave them a $100 citation for driving in the breakdown lane, made them wait for their citation while he finished writing someone else's ticket, and even seemed to ask for proof of pregnancy, Jennifer Davis said." Stephanie Ebbert, December 4, 2008. Boston Globe.

One of these days I'm going sit on somebody's yard and start singing 'Kumbiya' just for the hell of it.

Review - Water (2005) Deepa Mehta

2008-12-02T02:46:00.001-06:00

The very first thing I noticed when watching this movie was my own westernized viewpoint of how things should be, namely girls as young as 7 or 8 should not be getting married. The acceptance of this girl to her fate first as a young wife and than as a widow helped my understanding and acceptance of this film’s story line premise. Her name we learn is Chuyia and with accustom to her family’s belief of widows she is stripped of her ornamental jewelry, clothes and shaved bald. The belief exists that when a woman’s husband dies, she must be half dead also so she is taken to an ashram where she is to live the rest of her days out in a life of celibacy, discipline, and solitude amongst her own kind.

Both the ideals and aspects of Karl Marx and the feminist theory of justice can be applied to this movie, Chuyia a widow among widows is a part of the lowest part of Indian society. Oppressed by religion and tradition Chuyia finds herself trapped by a system that can only look down upon her and her kind. It relies on religion to subject a class of people to beggars with limited power or control over their situation and is commented on in the movie to be for the purpose of saving money.

The differences in viewpoints between women and men become apparent early on in the movie as the main women are shown to be taken care of pets as to show acts of compassion and caring as is commented on by Baier. Even though it is wrong for her, Kalyani who is the girl that Madhumati (the leader of the ashram) prostitutes out to the gentry, she still takes care of a small puppy – cleaning the fleas off of it and feeding it. Madhumati herself has a pet parrot whom she cares deeply for and is very distraught when this parrot is killed.

These actions contrast with some of the men in the story such as the man who sells Chuyia a yellow Ladoo – he at first tries to chase her away stating that widows don’t eat fried foods (it should be noted as well that the exchange of money seems to settle him down). Justice for this man seemed to be the fulfillment of the obligations of the holy texts and traditions as long as they didn’t interfere with his business. The priests of this religion also have a way of interpreting the holy texts as we find out that any women who are able to sleep with one should be thankful for the opportunity. This is revealed as a selfish and morally wrong interpretation of the holy texts serving only to bring pleasure to a man.

The class system is readily apparent as this film is based in India where the caste system is used to define people and their levels of social interaction. From the priests and holy men at the top who can do what ever they please, to the gentry who feel free to use the widows as call girls and down to the widows who have so many rules overseeing their lives and still must beg to get money for food. Other ideas that reinforce the caste system among the widows include statements such as ‘god willing she will be reborn a man’, and when Chuyia asks if men have a house similar to the widows house she is immediately scorned and scolded for her words. It is acceptable for widows to be left so lowly on the caste system.

It seems to me that under the caste system women play a relatively minor role in the everyday lives of the country men. This brings about further speculation about what they are considered good for as I saw no evidence of the widows being used for any sort of production other than survival means. Their labour is lost in both production of goods and in child bearing as they are meant to suffer a life of self denial and chastity. But the men are raised to be lawyers – sent off to school to study, or merchants setting up shops within the city, or holy men speaking the scriptures to those who pass by. It doesn’t seem to matter if they have been widowed or not.

Without any form of wealth creation available to them the widows are plagued to live their lives in a continued dependence of the good will of others and the prostitution. This being a form of oppression on top of the grief of the widows loss of husband (also the one capable of creating wealth) can only result in the widows remaining beneath the working class. Even the progressive laws of widows now being able to remarry are being created are largely being ignored by the bulk of the people as they are not laws that will benefit many people. It certainly won’t benefit the Gentry class who seem to pride themselves on the arranged marriages of young girls, nor will it benefit the Holy men who use the services of prostituted widows.

Both the ideas of the oppressed feminism and Marxian class ideals seem to work in this movie as there are many instances of women being oppressed by both the male dominated society and caste system which labels people according to where they are in life. The one scene that I believe shows both groups oppressing the widows is the wedding scene where one of the widows must get water to clean the seating area of the Holy man from the same source as the brides purification ceremony is taking place. The priest tells her to make sure her shadow doesn’t even touch the bride. Even though she is doing nothing wrong she still gets treated badly by the priest and the group with the bride who does nothing to defend her. The holy man has no reason to say anything to her but yet he does and the brides group only wants her to leave so they can get on with the ceremony.

The class of male oppression and female oppression are clearly seen in this movie and brought to the forefront of the viewers mind as the main story closes with the young Chuyia being taken away from the ashram after being prostituted out. Her innocent bubble burst by the male dominated world she knows nothing about. Unfortunately, there are still millions of widows still living in similar conditions as revealed in this movie and the laws concerning remarriage are still ignored.

Wiki Water!

IMDb Water!

Almost Finished...

2008-11-29T04:16:00.001-06:00

more animals

Yeah, I'm almost done another semester like most other students out there!!

Natives get bigger role at Liberal convention

2008-11-17T23:27:00.001-06:00

7% may not seem like a lot but considering we make up 3.2% of the population and are the only ethnic group given a slot at the convention that's a pretty big accomplishment. Stating a bigger appreciation of First Nations people and the importance of our issues has lead the federal Liberals to rethink how they interact with us. And a slot that big has lead some First Nation individuals to rethink how they interact with the Liberal Party, by thinking about running a candidate for the Liberal leadership. Phil Fontaine has been suggested but he's ruled out any possibility of running but supports the efforts made to give greater consideration to First Nations issues.

So with that very serious contender out of the way I'd like to declare my intentions to run for the Liberal Party of Canada Leadership! Who's with me? I'd be benevolent dictator.

When Liberals gather to elect a new leader in Vancouver in May, at least 7 per cent of the delegates are expected to be aboriginal. The Globe and Mail, November 16, 2008

The Legal Advocacy Against Canada’s Solicitation Laws

2008-11-05T18:10:00.000-06:00

Why not legalize prostitution? The current Canadian laws force the street workers to practice their trade out of sight in the darker alleys and unlit streets of slums and inner cities. This very rational leads to the issues surrounding their safety, mainly staying away from the police force in order to secure the deal and often this method itself can be very dangerous. Timing becomes an important factor because you simply don’t know when a police officer is going to pull around the corner and begin to ask questions, this forces many of the deals to happen quickly – before the street worker has a proper chance to assess the situation.

Before 1985 Canada’s solicitation laws were much more vague in terms of persecution because the solicitor had to be pressing and persistent for the police to be able to make an arrest, as a result very few street workers could be charged under it. But in December of 1985 changes to the solicitation laws took place. What became known as the communications law came into effect – Section 213, with the purpose of reducing the visibility of street prostitution.

According to a 2006 Government of Canada report The Challenge of Change: A Study of Canada’s Criminal Prostitution Laws there was a, “substantial increase in murders of known prostitutes in the mid-1980s, jumping from 8 in 1980-1984 to 22 in 1985-1989”, which corresponds with the change in the governmental law regarding prostitutes. As it became more difficult to for a street worker to obtain clients through the traditional bars, hotels and nightclub scenes they were force to the streets. The enacted laws of Canada put the lives of these street workers at a greater risk and thus endangering their lives.

It is as long as these street workers are put in danger and at risk that the struggle needs to continue regarding the solicitation laws of Canada. Many groups such as Regina’s Street Workers Advocacy Project (SWAP) works to ensure that every street worker has a safe place to go, also help is available for the ‘john’s’ guilty of communication for sexual purposes via the ‘John School’ put together by the Indian Metis Christian Fellowship (IMCF) and Saskatchewan justice. Because many of the street workers have limited resources and options they must rely on organizations such as SWAP and IMCF for local help regarding legal matters they may find themselves in. Nationally it becomes a different story.

The court challenges vary across the country of Canada from a ‘john’ in BC challenging the validity of these laws to an organization of sex workers in Toronto that wants to restore the right to liberty and security to Canadian street workers. Because prostitution is a legal occupation the current legislation denies street workers this right by denying them the ability to obtain safe and legal options to maintain their business. Ideally a striking down of the solicitation laws would be the best route to go and from 2003 to 2006 the government did indeed look at the current legislation and, “there was near unanimous agreement from the over 300 witnesses heard by the committee that the present regime concerning prostitution is unworkable, contradictory and harmful” (Davis). It is unfortunate that this study did not go vary far and was largely ignored by the federal government.

Libby Davies has been a strong community activist and politician for almost 30 years in Vancouver East serving under the federal NDP. Politicians involved with their community need to be a part of the process that examines how our legislation affects the lives of individual and be willing to make the changes necessary to ensure the ones who elected them are safe. Libby’s involvement with the process to change these laws is very important as it gives legal groups and local advocacy groups an ‘in’ to the parliamentary system where laws are made. This could have a positive impact for any group wanting the government to take another look at the realities behind the current prostitution situation.

All the research and work put into the effort to change the solicitation laws are of no avail if falling on deaf ears such as the recommendations put forward by the Fraser Commission as discussed in Street Prostitution: Assessing the Impact of the Law, “that would allow hookers to work out of their own homes” which would be a generally safer situation than simply working the street. This recommendation was ignored and it is still difficult for a prostitute to control her environment in which she tries to obtain clients. Because of the ‘bawdy house’ law any place that is normally used by a prostitute can be considered a bawdy house and under this legislation a general reputation is enough to demonstrate that acts of prostitution regularly occur there.

I don’t believe that the reality of this situation will change anytime soon. Given the fact that after three years of study and many discussions later (as in the Government of Canada report The Challenge of Change: A Study of Canada’s Criminal Prostitution Laws) the parliament largely ignored the recommendations and chose to keep existing legislation and make no changes. Perhaps at the root of the problem comes the idea that we don’t know what to do with the prostitution laws.

Is legalization an option? According to Sharon Leslie Acoose who spent extensive time with SWAP states, “Day in and day out, prostitutes are senselessly murdered. If it was legalized perhaps the violence would be worse. From all the research the writer has done on this subject there is a belief that legalization would only enhance the trade and make it bigger”. Consideration must be given to the other areas of concern also including legislation over pimps, drug dealers who profit from prostitution, and organized prostitution rings that run women (often against their will) across the country.

Leslie Blais, a ‘john’ from BC is trying to challenge the law after he was picked up for trying to solicit sex from an undercover police officer, but I’m concerned that the circumstances surrounding his claim will not hold up in court simply because he was trying to solicit sex. But it does raise an example of people thinking outside the box to consider and examine alternatives to the solicitation laws. This case draws attention to the fact that ‘john’s’ have a role to play in this issue as well and it isn’t simply the street workers issue to deal with.

In many provinces ‘johns’ who have been charged under Section 213 have the opportunity to attend what is known as a ‘john school’. After being charged the ‘johns’ vehicle would be seized, told of the opportunity to attend an upcoming ‘john school’, informed of the cost and ramifications of failure to either attend ‘john school’ or not participating. Should the john fail for what ever reason, “their driver’s license will be revoked for a year, their vehicle will remain impounded and they may be prosecuted”. What this process does is helps the ‘john’ come to an understanding of the life of a prostitute and many of the issues surrounding prostitution. With a low recidivism rate it is pointed at as a positive factor in educating ‘john’s’ as to what they are getting into and supporting.

Similar interventions could be taken upon to educate or intervene into a street workers life in a way that opens doors in the community and provides hope or offers at least a chance at a change of life. Providing a safe house, or transportation to detox centre, or simply providing groceries to get through a few days may help street workers on a basic every day level. Offering up legal advice for court dates and legal aid when needed can also go along way to helping a street worker say off the street. Over all the process must start with the government recognizing that the laws they have passed only hurt the ones that are suppose to be protecting. Street workers will always be there, how we treat them must be adapted to fit their needs.

Online Death Haunts Court

2008-11-03T13:56:00.001-06:00

There once was a man named Earl

Who lived in a virtual world

He romanced a wife

Which led to much strife

So she killed him with her online girl.

True story. They're in court now and she is charged with murder and looking at five years and a $5000 dollar fine. You can read it for yourself here:

"Last Thursday, Japanese police divulged the details of a case in which a 43-year-old piano teacher from Miyazaki confessed to killing the avatar of her online "husband" after he ditched her abruptly on the popular interactive game MapleStory - which is where they had met.

Investigators heard that the woman was so angry that her virtual husband, a 33-year-old office worker living 1,000 kilometres away, had divorced her, that she killed him online. Using her ex's password, the teacher trolled through his account and deleted his avatar." Zosia Bielski, October 30, 2008. The Globe and Mail.

I hope no one tries to Assassinate Mister Beastly...

Windigo

2008-10-31T03:36:00.001-06:00

So I was a little boy growing up on my Reserve. I'd usually play outside til nightfall until my Moshum would call me inside for the night but every night I loved to stay out as late as I could. You see, the sunsets were beautiful and I loved to watch the stars come out - there were just so many up there! As was my usual routine this one Friday night I was playing outside with my two dogs Blackie and Black Jack as the night fell. Now before I go any further I must tell you where we lived in accordance to everyone else on the reserve. Most people lived at most twenty yards off of a road, we had the main grid road that went straight through the reserve that had a few houses placed just off it, then we had secondary roads with houses placed just off those roads and finally we had tributary roads that fed into the secondary roads with a few homes usually placed along and at the end of that road. The road that connected our home to one of these tributary roads about a ten minute drive going about 40/KM an hour, we lived in the bush. It was quiet. All the time.

Normally I felt quite safe where we lived because the distance to the road and the peace and quiet seemed to be a natural protector for us, most people didn't know our road actually went anywhere and never travelled it. On this particular night my Moshum and Nokum had been arguing so I was forgotten about as I played outside. The sun had gone down in a fantastic ball of fire burning up the evening sky to a charred black save for the stars gleaming through. Out behind our house was a rather large bush to the west that was full of trees, berry plants and lots of undergrowth (we also found out with the help of our dogs porcupines). During the day I'd run and play 'hide and go seek' with my dogs or 'follow the dog to see what he's smelling out' or simply explore. Beside the bush lay a beautiful open field that begged me everyday to run and run and run through it. Gophers scurried underfoot as did snakes and mice but nothing ever bit or scolded me as I enjoyed my summers out there. To the east lay another bush that I never entered into.

On this night as the stars dazzled overhead I ran with my dogs though the field, chasing each other and being chased. Every not and again I could hear my Moshum yelling in Cree as my Nokum screamed a rebuttal in Salteaux. I was free. And freely I ran... Until I heard Black Jack growl towards the western bush. Of course Blackie bounded right over to join his brother in fighting off what ever was trying to disturb my late night out. As I turned to see what they were growling at they both whimpered and suddenly sulked away. I went to where they were standing and peered into the bush only to see darkness and nothing more. I crept closer to the bush thinking there must be something there; my dogs wouldn't just leave me there for no reason.

As I got closer to the bush this stench of rot began to fill my nose, like a decomposing deer left hanging too long after being skinned. I peered into the bush, squinting, trying to make out what had scared my dogs but I could make nothing out at all. Until I looked up. I swear I've never ever seen eyes glow in the dark, but that night two red orbs blinked down at me and I felt my heart stop. It is so hard to explain how I had to look up at the eyes looking down on me and hearing the underbrush begin to rustle as suddenly a sinewy finger with a claw like nail is followed by a tightly gaunt hand reaching out towards me feels. The moonlight bathed the skinny forearm coming towards me in an eerie bluish glow that seemed to chill the night air.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I had to get away. But I didn't know how. Frozen in fear. Terrified.

Suddenly my dog howled, it sounded mournful - like he lost someone dear to him and in that brief moment the arm stopped coming towards me and the porch light came on as my Moshum opened the door. 'Boy!' he yelled out, 'where are ya boy? Get in here Boy! It's late!' I'll never forget that beat of my heart as blood and breath surged through my body and with every fiber of my being I tore myself from that spot as the corners of my eyes caught this heinously disfigured face coming out of the bush with its teeth bared towards me. A primal growl escaped its lips as I narrowly dodged its bite and grasp.

Towards the light I ran, terrified to look back for fear of what was following me. Up the stairs and pasted Moshum and into my room. I hid under the bed. It was the safest place I could think of.

I listened to my Moshum talking to Nokum, 'something scared him, I'm going to get the spot light out!'

'No!' I screamed as I tore back out of my room from under my bed to stop him.

'Well what did you see?' he asked me. I looked at him in the kitchen light and shrugged my shoulders. I really had no idea what it was. I'm sure he could see that I was scared because he went to the closet and pulled out his rifle and loaded it before stepping outside. I climbed up on the kitchen sink to watch out the window to see what was going to happen - my heart was pounded in my throat. He walked out there and called the dogs to his side as he went towards the truck, they didn't come out of the doghouse at all. From inside I could hear them whimper.

Moshum got to the truck and started it up before he pulled out the spotlight - he shone it expertly through the bush looking for what I couldn't believe I seen. I only watched the one spot where I had been spellbound in fright hoping my mind was only playing tricks on me and my dogs were only playing along because they knew that really... there was nothing there. But Moshum shone the light at the very spot I froze and there could be no doubt any longer in my mind that something was there.

It was sudden. It was fast. Its' first step put it out of the bush, its legs long and reaching - thin and brittle in the moonlight. The second step and it was in the middle of the field, a grotesque creature of bone and limbs seeming to stagger through the night as it took another step. In the eastern bush it disappeared to as the light of my Moshum's spotlight barely kept up to it. For a moment everything was still except for our hearts pounding in our eardrums.

Moshum turned off the truck and turned off the spotlight and as he came back up the stairs he called the dogs one more time but they only whined quietly in response. I remember him locking the doors that night, and nailing them closed with two by fours. He told me to go to bed and not to worry, to sleep and dream good dreams. But from my room from under my covers I listened to him rock in the rocking chair long into the night. I did sleep that night, but barely my dreams troubled and of my dogs left outside. In one I see that hand coming down and smashing the dog house, grabbing my dogs and taking them away. In my dream I can hear them crying.

From that night my Moshum installed brighter lights outside and never let my play past dusk unless he was around. Me and Blackie didn't mind. Moshum told me Black Jack ran away that night, that was why I didn't see him any more. And I told myself that Moshum ran into the dog house with the truck and that’s why it was destroyed. The blood I found on the eastern bush was just a wounded rabbit, I was sure of it. I was so sure that was all it was that I never played in the eastern bush. Ever.

Beware the Windigo

None of the officers could account for a shell casing, seen near the gun, that went missing

2008-10-30T22:27:00.000-06:00

Rosset said he never heard Topping fire first, nor did he hear Pelletier's gun fire again, but based on what he perceived as a threat, the officer fired a single shot at Pelletier.
Muskowekwan and the Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations, have questioned the decision to place ERT's armoured vehicle about 100 metres from the house, possibly in Pelletier's view, if the Mounties were worried he wanted to commit "suicide by cop."
The inquest also heard that police did not allow any members of the First Nation, Pelletier’s friends or family to speak with him during negotiations.
RCMP's emergency response team (ERT) referred to Pelletier as the "badger" that day and his house as the "den." She contended the term was dehumanizing, reducing him to an animal.
They handcuffed him when he was dead

RCMP sniper says he had no choice

Supporters, family members stage demonstration

Inquest into fatal police shooting hears friends not allowed to talk to gunman

Two Views of History

2008-10-29T16:36:00.001-06:00

The Globe and Mail has decided to tiptoe into the 'all cultures are equal' debate by letting Margaret Wente lose on the topic. She argues that Dick Pound who is a very high level Olympic figure, was right in describing North America as a land of savages before the arrival of the Europeans. It is unfortunate that she sees the need not only to agree with Mr. Pound but to look into history and bring up one viewpoint about who we were.

"Today, "traditional knowledge," which generally resides among the elders, is sought after by governments, studied in universities around the world, and recognized in environmental assessment processes. But Ms. Widdowson says most of it is useless - a heap of vague beliefs and opinions that can't be verified or tested." Margaret Wente - October 25, 2008. The Globe and Mail

To her credit she does a fine and well thought out opinion. By only looking at the History through European eyes and a westernized view of what civilization is she could lead some to believe that Indians might be inferior to begin with. Personally I think the slants people already have ingrained into their thinking may influence how they look at this article. I don't believe that we were ever inferior or less than the group of people who knew enough to sail across the ocean but not enough to pack citrus fruits for the trip. But someone who already believes this land was filled with savages will find more than enough fodder for their arguments thanks to Wente.

At the very least we should thank the Globe and Mail for printing another view of history - the other side of the peace pipe so to speak. Hayden King is a professor at McMaster University and a member of the Beausoleil First Nation on Chimnissing who argues that Wente is simply wrong. Kings uses a variety of evidence to back up her claims of both First Nation sophistication and European savagery to create a more balanced view on history.

"But the achievements don't end there. And because Ms. Wente uses European-inspired standards of success when measuring first nations "savagery," a comparison is in order. At a time when the Anishinabek had societal codes forbidding incest, the crowned heads of France and England were as inbred as poodles. While Christians were burning "heretics" at the stake for suggesting the Earth wasn't the centre of the universe, the Mayans were charting the movement of the stars, creating a calendar within seconds of modern-day atomic clocks. The Wet'suwet'en practised a matriarchal society, while on the other side of the Atlantic, women were the property of men." Hayden King - October 29, 2008. The Globe and Mail

I used to enjoy Margaret Wente's articles and looked forward to their articulate views and insightful understanding of situations and issues but having not kept abreast of her columns of late I have to ask, "What happened Margaret?"

Who or What is an Indian?

Aboriginal Justice for Ourselves

2008-10-23T02:32:00.001-06:00

LESTOCK -- Frustration was apparent in the voices of two witnesses at a coroner's inquest Wednesday -- the cousin of the deceased who firmly believes he could have made a difference if allowed and one of the RCMP negotiators who tried for a peaceful outcome.

Armold Bigsky told the inquest examining the death of Delbert Kenneth Pelletier that he was so close to his cousin, he felt the moment the 44-year-old was struck in the heart by a sniper's bullet on the Muskowekwan First Nation on Nov. 13, 2006. Testifying at the third day of the inquest, Bigsky said he believes his cousin's fate was sealed once the situation escalated with the Mounties calling in the Emergency Response Team (ERT).

"It was an Indian man on Indian land. He never had a chance," said Bigsky

Cousin of Pelletier believes shooting could have been prevented

It's always stories like this one that keep the focus in my mind as to why I don't want to be a police officer. Some people think I would make a good officer but I hear the stories like Lonechild, Indians being shot (with no public inquiry to date), and think about all the Stolen Sisters I really wonder what is the objective of the police force - local and national? The continued over-representation of young aboriginals in Saskatchewan jails is clearly a disturbing trend that needs to be changed.

I have in the past spoken about the need for an Aboriginal Justice system and I still believe this is the way to go. For so long now we have accepted the current justice model put forward by Canada and its justice system upon us while accepting token roles such as being allowed to use sentencing circles - under the authority of a Canadian Judge. It still isn't working.

Criticisms have been put forward such as 'they'll just learn more crime skills in any sort of jail', 'only if it's something all Canadians can use', 'do you realize how much that will cost?'. To answer such I offer this - why has our current system failed so miserably? If the kids learn crime skills in jail how good can they be? After all, the ones they are learning them from are also in jail. Something all Canadians can use? I'm sorry but we need to start taking responsibility for our problems and coming up with the creative solutions needed to help our people. If we ever want to be truly free and independent First Nations we need to be able to take care of our own - as we did before First Contact. As for the costs, it would reasonable be expected to grow from a cost sharing agreement between First Nations and Provincial and National Governments with an expectation of growing and continued financial support from the First Nations.

Other provinces such as BC have taken up the challenge of working towards Aboriginal Self-government including the justice system to deal with aboriginal issues on their lands. While it could be argued that these agreements are nothing more than extensions of Canada's authority on Aboriginal lands with the Chiefs blessings by stating that laws passed must meet or exceed the levels of Canada's justice system, they do none the less affirm and support a First Nations right to self government.

A separate independent or quasi-independent Aboriginal Justice system would allow for ownership over our own justice issues and as such - allow us to be the insiders looking after the best interests of our people.

Just Another Indian

Pamela Jean George

Why Do We Always Come Here?

2008-10-15T01:18:00.001-06:00

The Muppets are back!

They're short pieces, mostly musical sketches: The Swedish Chef and Beaker sing the Habanera from Carmen with only the words "bork" and "meep;" Gonzo and his trained chickens cluck out the Blue Danube Waltz; Sam, the American Eagle, his attitude as relevant as ever ("WORLD wide web? Is there a way to put this on just the American part?"), leads an Independence Day sing-along. At the end of each, Statler and Waldorf, the disagreeable old men in the balcony, peer into a computer screen and deliver a zinger. "How many hits did that thing receive?" "Unfortunately, not enough to kill it!"

Enter Title Post Here

2008-10-14T11:31:00.001-06:00

What are you doing reading my blog? Get out there and vote!

Canadian Prostitution Laws Challenged

2008-10-07T16:59:00.001-06:00

B.C. john challenges Canadian prostitution laws

Just a quick personal note on this guys situation, he claims to be working for the rights of prostitutes because he 'began to know them as people' and thus set himself up as a champion for their rights. But it has to be noted that he was caught trying to pick up a prostitute, at that point he ceases to be a friend or a helper and becomes a predator preying on a prostitutes situation for personal gratification and I hope his case is tossed out of the courts based on this. A normal healthy individual who is intent on helping does not need to 'help by exchanging goods for sexual services'. This paper was written for an advocacy class.

In Canada an individual who approaches and picks up a prostitute in a public place is subject to persecution and can be charged under Section 213 of the Criminal Code of Canada. Because of this law many prostitutes are forced to take their trade to darker, and more unprotected corners of society where the danger is more acute and their lives are in greater risk. It is because of these circumstances that Leslie Blais, “was arrested in May 2006 as he tried to pick up a female RCMP officer posing as a prostitute. He was charged with communicating for the purpose of prostitution.” (Skelton) and is now a john charged under this law, is challenging the constitutionality of Canada’s solicitation laws. Because this law is believed to put the lives of prostitutes at greater risks it may violate a prostitutes Charter rights. Blais is the first john to bring forward a case to challenge this law.

The safety and protection of our most vulnerable in society should not be limited to simply the youth of the nation and the elderly but also include the impoverished who have been limited in their choices or have otherwise been forced into a demeaning lifestyle. Poverty, abuse, and addiction all play a role in the choices of many prostitutes, but also organized crime and being forced into the street life also play roles. Mr. Blais first began to get involved in the life of prostitutes when he worked in a small restaurant as a waiter that was frequented by prostitutes. When he began to understand the reasons why many of the street workers got involved in the trade and seen what abusive johns did to them he wanted to get involved himself.

These abusive johns played a role in the lives of street workers by taking advantage of their situation and exploiting it to their own sexual gratification. By being in a vulnerable position already many of these street workers could only feel further violated by the abuse they received and felt they had no recourse for protection. The police in this situation seem only involved in the enforcement of Section 213 by going after and charging the johns who frequent street workers. Some of the street workers have challenged the law themselves and are currently working through the legal system in both B.C. and Ontario to have these prostitution laws struck down. By changing the laws on solicitation both Blais and various sex trade workers hope to bring about more safety considerations for street workers.

The protection and safety of the street workers in Canada’s sex trade is of paramount concern with many street workers being abused, missing and found dead. The many high profile cases recently including the Aboriginal Missing Sisters campaign, and The Pickton murder trial only serve to highlight the need to increased consideration of what Canada’s soliciting laws do. If the laws do not reflect the needs of societies most vulnerable are they really in the best intention of the people they are supposed to serve?

The problem of prostitution is not a new one and has been around society for longer than Canada has existed and while it has never been illegal to be a prostitute the laws surrounding prostitution have changed. Currently, an individual can agree to sell their body or services within the privacy of their own home, a hotel room or any other private place including using the phone, Internet or newspaper ads – but cannot sell services in a public place or a place that the public can reasonable expect to be invited to (hotel lobby, bar, parked car on a public street). A street worker whose only option for financial support cannot be reasonable expected to advertise her services in a place of relative safety between a willing buyer and a willing seller. Again, the moral legality or the issue of prostitution being right or wrong isn’t considered but rather the safety of the individuals involved in the sex trade needs to be paramount.

The main course of action we normally see in situations involving street workers tend to arise as reactionary investigations involving missing or murdered prostitutes. Many organizations here in Regina have taken a direct role in the lives and safety of street workers including the Regina Health District that drives a needle exchange and health services van on a daily schedule, the Street Workers Advocacy Project which works to represent street workers legal rights and offers a variety of programs, and church ministries that offer shelter, prayer, and food through weekly bus services. All these services exist to engage and help individuals who feel trapped in this lifestyle and need help with day to day existence. Arguments exist for these services for both allowing street workers to continue their reliance on prostitution and the need of these services to help with the well being and health of individuals in the sex trade.

It is true that in Canadian society there is no need for any individual to engage in prostitution due to the many opportunities available to everyone including education and social programming. But this does not change the fact that prostitution does exist and is a matter that needs to be addressed by not only every level of government, the justice system and various social programming. By taking a critical look at the Canadian prostitution legislation the government can review how our current laws negatively affect the individuals involved and what can be changed to help improve the safety of every prostitute. Currently by only looking at the existing legislation and using it arrest and convict johns and prostitutes it only serves to keep people in a cycle of dependence on the sex trade.

By addressing this issue and offering more than simply ways to continue involvement in the sex trade industry the underlying issues of poverty and addiction can be addressed in ways that offer a way out. The first step will always need to start at the individual level through choices being made to avoid street working, but also opportunities to leave the prostitution lifestyle. The public perception of street workers being expendable and dirty needs to be changed also in the manner that makes individuals engaged in the sex trade feel that they are valued and are able to make a difference and change in their own lives. Simply accepting the fact that prostitution exists and is a part of life is not enough, the change must include empowering individuals to make positive changes and achieve a healthy lifestyle.

The Prostitution Law in Canada

2008-10-06T03:19:00.001-06:00

Prostitution is not illegal in Canada, simply how it is done is. Within the confines of a private home, or as a deal made over a landline phone, cell phone, internet message or through an ad in the local newspaper it is legal for a woman to communicate to sell her body for sexual purposes. But according to Section 213 of the Canadian Criminal Code it is illegal to communicate in any public place, in a motor vehicle in a public place, or to attempt to stop anyone in any manner to communicate for the purpose of engaging in prostitution. It seems to be that it is legal for a woman to sell her body, but not to go and find buyers for her goods.

Much of my adult life I have been able to watch the life of prostitutes, be it though family involvement, ministry or volunteer work at inner-city agencies. At first my upbringing had taught me to shun and ridicule anyone involved in the sex trade industry because that was a savage and ignorant place to be. Only losers did that kind of work, so to speak. As I worked with and talked to different individuals involved within the trade I began to see aspects of who they were.

Prostitution exists for many reasons in Canada, not the least of which is addiction. Running from abuse at home, being caught in a sex trade ring or being pimped, hunger, or simply having no options to generate sufficient income through legitimate means also play a part in an individual’s choice to become a prostitute. Regardless, the outcome is almost always a life spinning out of control and often ends up being fatal either through an abusive ‘John’, or pimp, drug overdose or even suicide. Prostitutes often feel alone, left out of society and have limited or no opportunities due to the nature of their work and its legal implications. Section 213 of the Criminal Code of Canada adds to these feelings by making the girls who are working the street wary of police, the very workers who should be protecting them.

Very few prostitutes I have talked to would continue to be street workers if they had another means of gainful employment but feel that they don’t have many options that will allow them to leave the street life. Lack of training opportunities that can not be used because of the cost involved, or family life at home makes it impossible to make ends meet on a minimum wage job because it would not be enough to feed three kids, lack of higher skill training to be able to work at a relativity better paying job all make it difficult for a prostitute to find a way out. Of course addictions and force prostitution also plays a role in decisions they make but for the purpose of this paper I will not be dealing with these issues.

Within Canadian society we all need to work or otherwise earn money to achieve an acceptable standard of living, people with more resources are able to achieve a greater standard of living because they are able to obtain more skills in our competitive market place. Having an greater ability to earn a living through acceptable standards makes it easier for an individual to float upwards through the standard of living scale. Essentially, our ability to earn our living becomes our means of production. If you get an education up to grade twelve you are generally more desirous than someone who has dropped out at grade ten, similarly a university graduate is more highly sought after because it is perceived they can finish a job they have started.

In Canada it is rare to find someone who has been successful without some form of education unless it has been through a lottery, inheritance, or other forms of sudden wealth. Marx states, “in societies with pronounced class distinctions, the means of production are owned and controlled by the ruling class” (Vago & Nelson, 2008, p. 35) and as I have stated education seems to be our class distinctions.

This lack of education by many street workers leaves them along the bottom rung of societies under class. I will freely admit that nothing in law dictates that someone can not get up and get educated and in fact many attempts are made towards offering learning opportunities to the under privileged and poorer individuals of society. GED programs exist as do adult education programs designed to help anyone achieve a basic level education as a stepping stone to more opportunities, both educationally and economically. Unfortunately, the everyday needs and struggles of current and former street workers trying to achieve a better life through these channels will often lack the very basic skills of budgeting and time management.

Again rules and expectations of the educational system make it difficult to allow deviants to continue through with their education needs. These strict rules put in place by the educational facility concerning ones punctuality, absenteeism and assignment due dates are markedly different from the life they are trying to leave. Often time constraints concerning things like court dates, children issues with school, and a dysfunctional family life all serve to hinder ones integration to the education system and the resulting actions of the facility can be taken as rejection. The result can often be a return to the old street walking lifestyle where expectations are better achievable.

Society has the view that prostitution is something to be looked down upon and often does not consider the circumstances leading up the decision to become a prostitute and will often only point the finger at the prostitute for making bad decisions. All the equipment is in place to achieve a decent standard of living, education to grade twelve is free and school attendance is mandatory up to the age 16, government loans for education beyond grade twelve are easily obtainable and other trade programs are often subsidized. But that simply neglects the facts of other circumstances of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse all have a detrimental effect on a person’s development and view of self worth. The stability and healthy relationships that are seen as the normal development in healthy families are looked up as the standard by which all people are judged. This allows for little hope or expectation of change within society that views the poor as the exception to the rules.

Prostitution has been a fact through out societies history and woman have turned to it in many different fashions such as street walking, escorting, and ‘gold digging’ otherwise known as searching for a rich husband. How we view their worth is seen in our treatment of the average street workers, through shame and charges, fines and prisons rather than a holistic approach of tackling the root causes of poverty addictions. We need prostitution laws to be put into place with the view of protecting those who fall into the lifestyle with a continuing emphasis on helping them to find a way out. Rather than fines that only force street walkers to ‘turn more tricks’ to pay the court – we need to as a society take a greater responsibility in these individuals lives. Spiritual, social and economic means are needed to be directed at healing the broken lives of these people no matter the reason they first began this way of life.

Until society begins to realize there is a common responsibility among us to ensure everyone has a fair chance at a standard of living that does not include an individual selling themselves to live, no law will ever be effective in combating prostitution.

Appendix A

Criminal Code of Canada Section 213

Every person who in a public place or in any place open to public view (a) stops or attempts to stop any motor vehicle, (b) impedes the free flow of pedestrians or vehicular traffic or ingress to or egress from premises adjacent to that place, or (c) stops or attempts to stop any person or in any manner communicate or attempts to communicate with any person for the purpose of engaging in prostitution or of obtaining the services of a prostitute is guilty of an offence punishable on summary conviction.

A "public place" includes any place to which the public have right of access as of right or by invitation, express or implied, and any motor vehicle located in a public place or in any place open to public view.

The Corn-maze Near Pilot Butte

2008-10-04T13:32:00.001-06:00

We gathered together at about seven in the evening at Morningstar. The kids were bubbly and excited because the school week was finally over and they were free to enjoy the autumn weather. many of the kids wore dark colours and very few bright's and whites were seen - two girls wore red but like their colours they remained separate from the others. The drums got no rest from a line of kids who simply had to hit something and the keyboard was an instrument of pre-Halloween horror as tunes and notes of no recognizable music came to be played. "How come there are no guitars?","Why isn't the mic on?","You should put water in the baptizing tub so we can swim in it!" all floated through my ears as kids blurred around me.

It was youth night at Morningstar and we had made plans to go to the corn maze east of Regina. As always the kids were chaos; but a reasonable tone of voice - sometimes louder, sometimes not, was always able to bring about enough moments of order for us to get things rolling. Slowly names were taken down and we filed into one huge van, a mini-van, a station wagon, and one sporty white car - and we were on our way. Because the Riders were playing Host to the visiting Stampeders it took us a bit longer to get through North Central and downtown then it normally would but by eight o'clock we were out of the city and ten minutes later pulling up to a fantastic, huge corn maze.

It was dark. Normally I always keep a flashlight in my car with me but for some reason I took it inside my home the night before but thankfully the youth minister had thought of the adults and gave us all a flashlight to use. I wasted no time in breaking mine. Sigh, but I found if I held it in just the right manner it would just might almost sometimes flash on for a brief moment. Usually just long enough for my eyes to get used to the light then turn off leaving me blinded in the darkness again. There is no moon this night, only the stars to help guide us through, although we soon find the moon would be no help within the twists and turns of the maze.

The kids all want flashlights before they go in but to their disappointment we only laugh as they try to take ours. The owner of the corn maze understands we are an inner-city ministry and wants to help us out and offers us an reasonable rate and freely gives all the kids a small glow-stick. The kids are now excited, happy and eager to get into the maze so after a quick orientation... oh wait the kids are already gone... We Thank the owner for all he has done for us and go off to try supervise "The Hyper-kids Lost in the Darkened Corn Maze." Wish us luck.

Ten o'clock comes much too early for the kids yelling 'Marco!' to the answers of 'POLO!'. Some kids are yelling 'TOMATO!' and others are jumping out of the corn scaring anyone passing by. I'm sure some of the other people in the corn maze think we're crazy. Every now and again I'd hear a shrill scream somewhere that would make me think something had happened, but I suddenly had to scream myself when a red terrier suddenly jumped out at me from the corn. He clearly looked amused and he turned tail and ran back into the corn. But the voice of the youth minister over the megaphone is blaring offers of free hot-chocolate by the fire pit for us to entice the kids out of the maze.

The fire is hot and the hot-chocolate quickly warms the insides but I'm not sure the kids notice as they are still yelling, laughing and chasing each other around the fire. I sit back and watch them and for a moment their world is alright. The Colours they wear don't matter, who this family is or that family is means nothing, everything that happens at home is forgotten, and even worries of school get left behind. For a moment the kids are kids. Laughing, playing, celebrating life... and no one wants it to end.

Teaching Spiritual Warfare

2008-09-11T23:18:00.005-06:00

I just thought I'd share a bit of what I'm listening too right now even though I know it's going to make some heads spin. They're usually about an hour and there are four in the series all on Spiritual Warfare. The player replaces the daily scripture box for a while because I thought I'd like to leave it up there for a week or two.
Mark Driscoll is a very solid pastor and I always enjoy listening to his sermons, he's from the Mars Hill Church in Seattle Washington. His sermons are also on podcasts for free so if you want to download them and listening to them while you're driving between cities, walking around the lake or even working out at the gym.

Be warned... His preaching cuts, if you find yourself getting mad, ask yourself why.

A Greener Point of View on Canadians.

2008-09-11T14:46:00.001-06:00

I wonder if we could sue her for calling us stupid? Isn't that slanderous? Tony Merchant - want to do a class action law suit against her on behalf of Canadians? I'm feeling some mental distress from her statement!

****UPDATE!!!****

Ok, the video is no longer working so I will instead provide the link to a blog where it is working.

Fundamentally Agreeing with That Assessment

Check it out.

Umm... What?

2008-09-09T15:29:00.001-06:00

So If anyone at all can tell me what this commercial is all about... I'd be eternally grateful... I wouldn't do anything for you... I'd just be grateful...

Rules being made because of what people do.

2008-09-09T12:25:00.000-06:00

see more pwn and owned pictures

It Happens Yet Again...

2008-09-09T01:20:00.001-06:00

“No adjectives exist to adequately describe this heinous atrocity,” Judge Wiseman said. “This act is shocking and utterly abhorrent for a civilized society.”

I'm sure you've all heard about this, it simply boils my blood and I don't know what to say anymore.

Ohio Mother Microwaves Baby to Death

May you Rest In Piece Little Guy and giggle in the eternal loving arms of your Heavenly Father. I'm sorry we let you down.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." Jeremiah 1:5 NIV

An Answer to an Appalled Response

2008-08-28T22:00:00.001-06:00

So I thought I'd answer a lingering question my particular declaration of faith asked by an anonymous poster type person as follows:

Anonymous said... I'm confused. You write in your Profile: "I used to be a hard core bible believing church going God fearing young man but it's amazing how the rational mind rejects such notions." And then in your intro to this post you write in praise of your friends' "ministry." Frankly, when I read the two items you included, the June 25th email and its follow-up, I was appalled. You sure you're over your bible-thumping days?

It is a fair question since my profile does seem to state a certain casting off of my faith in Christ. Since the profile box is such a small part of the blog I assumed that not too many people read it but perhaps that is a wrong assumption. I shall have to update it soon.

A lot of what I believed in the church and about the church has been shaken. The understanding that it is a human organization built by people, many of which have agendas - some of which do not, has stymied my growth in believing that the church is the end all cure all for societies ills. You see I have come into contact with churches that believe all you have to do is 'Pray, because we serve a Mighty Mighty God', and churches that have gravitated to the other extreme of social ills need social programming while limiting the application of the Word of God, and of course every church in between. Both these views hold faucets of truth but do not contain the entire revelation or plan to bring about change in society. That is what I see in my rational mind, it does not make sense that the church could be an effective stimulus to social change because of the people within it. My spirit has searched through all that to find points to believe in.

What I have come to believe in my experience is that the work of Jesus Christ on the cross of Calvary over two thousand years ago is for everybody and is just a relevant today as it ever was. This is my faith that a Man who lived over 2000 years ago, lived a perfect and blameless life, fulfilled his claim to be the Son of God, was wrongfully accused, tried and executed for crimes he did not commit and lay dead in the tomb for three days. I believe he actually died but this is not the end of my belief as I believe he rose from the dead and returned to God The Father and released the Holy Spirit (wait for it... this is where it gets interesting) to help people who believe all this to live empowered lives that imitate Christ's life of love and compassion. You may be asking yourself why believe this? Well, in one word - Experience.

At a young age I was devastated when Jimmy Swaggart confessed to his transgressions of sexual sin, and deeply disappointed when I read about Jim Baker's escapades. As time passed I continued to find both solace and entertainment in the books of the Bible, often reading and memorizing many different passages for fun. Eventually I went to live with my Uncle who was a pastor and very much a literalist when it came to interpreting the Word Of God. "Spare not the rod" he'd say as he beat with a two inch stick. He never did it under the influence of alcohol, or while stoned - he would simply get mad. At this point it will be sufficient to say that although he left me with many bad memories, he also instilled a huge foundation of biblical theology into my life.

It would be this foundation that would carry me through the next number of years after I left his care and ventured out on my own. The firm belief that there was someone greater then I looking out for me, helping me and wanting me to both do well and to succeed helped me time and time again to trust in the one I knew as Jesus Christ. This relationship became so much more then simply a loyalty to a church or denomination, it became a guide for looking at things. You see I believed that Jesus showed me an extraordinary amount of love and grace in my life that I couldn't help but to reach out to others in that same attitude. I guess it was when I began looking at how people interacted with each other that I began to understand the impact of a life touched by the Holy Spirit. The church can bring a form of order and control, set down rules and give you interpretations about how to live your life, but if you fail to actively pursue and apply these biblical teachings to your own life it is all for nothing.

Are my bible-thumping days over? I would have to answer yes, because I no longer try to force my beliefs onto others - but have I walked away from my faith in Jesus Christ and his work on the Cross? No. He's been my comfort when I've been in pain, He's been my help in times of need, and He's been my standard when I want to give up. I'm saying, I know what he has done for me, it's been my experience in my life and it has been a good experience to live by his standards. I like to believe I've balanced out my life by having a set of beliefs that I can apply and use on a daily basis but also share if I feel they could be a benefit to someone else's life. But again, all I can do is try to be an example of Christ's grace in my life.

If you have read my entire profile you will know that, "I am perhaps the most perplexing person I have ever met".

The Beast.

The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned. 1 Corinthians 2:14 NIV

Songs Of Living Waters

2008-07-03T19:08:00.001-06:00

Some friends of mine - Beverly and Louie Kenny have a fantastic ministry that reaches out to the First Nations community through revival and tent meetings, a church of their own, a television program (Songs of Living Waters), and now they are adding an Internet ministry to that list. I have received a couple of ministry updates from them so I decided to post them here.

Subject: Ministry update
Date: Wed 25, June 2008
We have a been witnessing a great out pouring amongst our First Nation people in Canada and the USA. We just got back from a camp meeting in Morley Alberta. There was a great harvest of souls, many young people attended and there was standing room only in the tent. As we travel we see God moving in a special way revival is beginning to begin in the hearts of our people. There is a urgency in our hearts to reach as many First Nation people for the Lord. There are 4 million native people in the USA and Canada and only 4% percent are born again. We as Christian people have a great work to reach our people.
The Lord has been opening so many doors for us to go and minister and it is difficult to balance the busy road schedule with our own church in Regina. We also believe that is important for native ministries to all begin to use the media as a way to reach our people. The TV program has been very successful at reaching the non-churched native people. Two TV stations have opened their doors to carry our program free of charge. This is a blessing as the cost of air time is so much. We are working on building a 24 hour web TV program that will air a all native ministers hosting their own TV program on the Internet 24 hours a day. Let me know if you would like to host your TV ministry on the this network. We need some financial support to carry out this great work for the Lord. If you would like to help us reach our native people , I would like to ask you to pray and ask the Lord how much you should help. You can mail your check or money order to Songs Of Living Waters at Box 982 Main Regina, Saskatchewan Postal Code S4P 3B2 So in closing keep us in prayer. God Bless.
Louis and Beverly Kenny
Regina, Sask.
306-543-7943

Ministry update July 3, 2008

You can now watch our TV program Songs of Living Waters on www.cross.tv we are also almost finishing building our own 24 hour native gospel network on the web. Our site will be www.nativegospeltv.ca and should be up and running next week. We are so excited about this project as it will help us reach our 4 million native people living in North America. It will feature native ministries from Canada and the USA sharing their ministries with the world 24 hours a day. That's going to be awesome.
We are also travelling to Berends River, Manitoba this weekend and then we are off to New Mexico to minister live on a 24 hour Christian TV network station. This is the network that is going to carry our program free of charge in the USA. Then we are off to minister on some reservation in California till end of the month, the we need to be in New Hazelton B.C. for the weekend of August 1st. Keep us in prayer as we lots of miles to cover. God Bless.
Louis and Beverly Kenny
Regina, Sask.
306-543-7943

International Hug-A-Canadian Day

2008-07-01T14:16:00.000-06:00

So anyway I was thinking to day as is my style and have come to the conclusion that we need to have an international day for Canada and what better day to do it than Canada Day. Canada is one of the best places in the world to live. It has the worlds largest coast line being surrounded by three oceans. It is the second largest country with 9,970,610KM2. Nearly 1/4 of the worlds fresh water is in Canada. About half of Canada is covered in forest. We have the longest Highway in the world, The Trans-Canada Highway which goes from St. John's NFLD to Victoria BC and is 7604KM's Long. The First snowmobile was invented here by Bombardier in 1937.

The diversity that crosses between the oceans and borders that make up Canada includes vast mountain ranges, lakes, rivers and wilderness that gives way to Arctic tundra. Northern lands are permanently frozen and along the BC coast we have luxuriant vegetation and temperatures can be as high as 45C and drop down to -40C making the weather and climate as diverse as the people that inhabit the lands and cities here.

Our history of immigration includes peoples from all over the world who have found better lives here for their families and have a hope in their future. In a spirit of multiculturalism Canada embraces the world that knocks on its door and celebrates the diversity that calls this country home. Black History Month, Asian Heritage Month, and now Aboriginal History Month are all examples of Canada's embrace of culture.

What all this comes down to is Canada is a Fantastic place to live and the world needs to celebrate our unique position as a world leader in... well... being a world leader! So before you I humbly place my idea of an 'International Hug-A-Canadian Day'.

Yer' Welcome.

Child Soldiers

2008-06-29T22:44:00.001-06:00

Around the world the use of child soldiers has continued even though many statues and laws have been passed by the United Nations. The organization of Human Rights Watch (HRW) has estimated that anywhere from between 200,000, and 300,000 children are in someway involved with conflicts and military labour. As a world where increasing communication and travel has become part of the everyday norm, more and more people are becoming aware of the horrors these children face. The growing movement to stop and ban the use of child soldiers is important to a world that values all life and does not consider the child to be expendable. After briefly describing the statues and laws passed concerning children used in war and giving a few examples of places where children are being used in conflicts I want to discuss the possibility of using a World Police Force to help curb or eliminate the problem.

During the 1990’s organizations began to oppose the use of child soldiers and groups like the United Nations International Children’s Emergency Fund (UNICEF), began to call for an international age limit for children used in military conflicts. International law stated that the minimum age for combatants should be at least 15 but UNICEF argued that it should be higher. Children have been used as soldiers but also as scouts, sentries, cook, spies, and in some cases, sexual slave for military commanders but also actively engaging in armed conflict. Through out the world there are an estimated 300,000 child soldiers being used in various national and international conflicts with some being as young as 8 years old.

Throughout history children have been used as soldiers to engage the enemy of a state for example, “in ancient Greece, young people in Sparta went war, and some members of the Roman legions were teenagers. Scandinavian youth also fought as Vikings, and youth in medieval times were among the knights who engaged in combat” (Sherrow, 2000, p. 268). During the American Revolution children were often used as the drummers leading the army into conflicts. It wasn’t until after World War II that governments started looking at the use of child soldiers in their ranks and began to set the minimum age for military service to 17 or 18.

Today, 105 countries have signed onto the Rome Statute, which condemns and outlaws the use of child soldiers, clearly there is much that still needs to be done. The Optional Protocol to the convention on the Rights of the Child adopted by the United Nations in 2000 prohibits the forced recruitment of children under the age of 18 and their use in hostilities, which has been accepted by more then 110 countries. The Optional Protocol states that all the countries that have signed on must take every reasonable effort to ensure that all their soldiers have reached the age of 18 before using them in active combat situations. It goes on to state that recruitment must not knowingly recruit or compulsively force minors to be recruited. Even with these laws in place state governments and rebel forces continue to use children as soldiers.

The organization Human Rights Watch (HRW) states that there are over 20 countries in various parts of the world that use children as direct participants of war. HRW has done extensive interviews of children soldiers in many countries and has also researched the many conflicts and situations surrounding how children have become involved in armed conflict.

The United Nations found that in some countries, children were recruited off the streets in poor sections of cities, but also in schools, athletic fields, bus stops and many other places where youth gather were also places where militants forced many children to be conscripted. Most of the time it was the poor children and orphans who were targeted to be recruited by the militants as they would have more reasons to join. In some countries because of economic disadvantages, hostile environment, or social pressure exerted on youth to join the military conflict children may see no other option. Joining the military offers the promise of food and shelter which would appeal to some of the orphans or street children of war torn countries. Other children who have seen their families killed or taken captive by an opposing fraction would join for vengeance or to have a sense of security.

Military leaders have many reasons for wanting to recruit young children because they, “are easily recruited and indoctrinated, present a small target and lack the judgment that adults normally possess, rendering them fierce and fearless killers” (Toney, 1997, p.37). As previous stated child soldiers have many uses after being recruited and we must keep in mind that their ability to be lead and commanded over makes them easy to control. Often the young children are subjected to desensitization at the hands of their commanders by forcing them to commit brutal acts of aggression, and take part in rituals designed to deaden their senses to pain and death. Often when these child soldiers become sick or are to slow to keep up with a moving militant group they are left behind and often taken prisoner by the opposing forces.

Depending on where the hostilities are taking place children receive different treatments, in part of the world religion is used to compel the children to do things that are gravely inhuman. From being told to go ahead of an advancing militant group they are told that they will be taken into heaven as heroes for giving their lives to clear a field of landmines. Sometimes, alcohol and drugs play a part in using the child soldiers before a conflict or to get the children to take deadly risks. Because some of the areas where conflict and child soldiers arise there are no government issued birth certificates it’s often difficult to count how many children are involved in the conflict and what their exact ages are.

The scaring that can take place in these children’s soldiers’ lives often takes all their lives to heal. Returning to a normal life is extremely difficult for these children and may turn to a life of crime, addictions, or prostitution to cope. This creates huge problems for organizations trying to help these children resume a normal life. Because many of the states that use child soldiers for their own internal conflicts they are often reluctant to enforce their own national laws and may ignore international laws concerning the issue. The start of the legalities on the use of child soldiers was first debated at the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child in 1979 which was declared the International Year of the Child.

The use of child soldiers continues unabated in many third world countries often flaring up with each burst of civil unrest or governmental change. With each passing war, battle, or cross fire situation young children are continually put at risk. Whether or not the respective governments have signed on to the Rome Statute or not changes need to take place to ensure the protections of such innocent lives. What I propose would that of a world police force used to enforce such law and order upon states that refuse to be good global citizens. Of course their powers would not only be for the protection of children in war and conflict zones but also stopping genocide, abolishing slavery, and preventing wars. The immediate arguments that appear include not only Westphalian sovereignty but also jurisdiction, control, and funding of such an endeavour.

Many countries in the world would never allow a foreign nation to tread upon their homeland soil without permission and every effort made to police such states would be seen as acts of aggression. This in turn could lead to added turmoil, threats, and even declarations of war, clearly steps backwards from world peace and law and order. In the vein of bringing justice to every part of the world and saving innocent lives of children, perhaps a more aggressive approach needs to be taken with rouge states. The convention on the rights of the child passed by the United Nations states that a child, “for the full and harmonious development of his or her personality, should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding” (United Nations, 2000, p.1), and nowhere is this failure of the rights of a child seen more clearly then in places where child soldiers are used.

While the UN currently does have its own police force its mandate does not include the broad powers of enforcement over many different nations. Currently serving mandates in 18 different countries they are limited to such basic law enforcement procedures such as stopping and searching cars at checkpoints as with in the scope of their mission, or protecting UN facilities and personal. They are not seen as actual law enforcement officials by the host country but may at times assist to maintain civil order if unrest breaks out. The UN police force also carries a mandate to help train or rebuild national law enforcement agencies and police forces to ensure proper administration and enforcement. These roles are in place to help support friendly governments who have turned to the UN for help embellishing authority and order over their nations, examples such as Haiti, Sierra Leone, Kosovo, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Liberia, Côte d'Ivoire, the Democratic Republic of the Congo and Burundi.

Although limited in its role the UN Police force could be used as definite starting point to build a more international force with greater autonomy the further questions of authority and control still exist. Many police forces in the western countries operate at an arms length away from the political system making them mostly autonomous but still accountable. Similarly an International Police force should be able to operate relatively independent from world states with their own checks and balances in place to ensure any types of corruption with in the force are investigated and disciplined accordingly. A properly balanced set of guidelines and rules put into place would help ensure smooth transitions from a change in the command chain. Reporting to the UN for accountability and to obtain new international laws to enforce it would also be accountable to the people of the world.

While not the governing body the UN would pass laws and statues such as the Rome Statute and other human rights decrees as basic human rights that all governments must adhere to and what a world police force would be responsible to enforce.

This brings the next question of Westphalian sovereignty to light as each country in the world would see reason not to allow the world police to do their job with in their borders. Declaring they are capable of meeting UN standards for human rights many states would simply refuse entry of a World police force. But what if clear violations of human rights were being covered up and informants were continually streaming out of the state in question with new information confirming, could the World police force send in recon teams to evaluate the nature of the human rights violation than take appropriate action? Actions including but not limited to addressing the government of the country stating their intent, entry and implementation of preconceived field missions based on drill and training exercises designed for such situations. Of course the World Police Force would have to be equipped with military grade weaponry to overcome any resistance encountered within the state. Should child soldiers then be deployed against the World Police Force engage and capture methods of battle could then be employed as to not endanger the children any more then they already are. Should the conflict begin to last too long, recommendations could be made to involve sanctions against the government, or asking for military strikes from another country against the enemy combatants once defined. Once national order has been restored summons could be sent to both the national government and the forces using child soldiers for a trial at the International Criminal Court (ICC). Fines and sanctions could be levied and applied to the guilty parties.

So states that have not signed onto a World Police Force agreement could still be bound under the authority and jurisdiction if they showed a clear violation of human rights law. Acting as a unilateral force would give any World Police Force the leeway and ability to enforce rules without prejudice and without political influence. As a World Police Force it would need to be seen as impartial in order to maintain their stance that they are not trying to interfere with Westphalian sovereignty but rather simply enforce the law. This idea becomes an absolute must if it is to be taken seriously on the world stage and if their cases are to hold up in the ICC.

A key issue many state would argue would be about how their national interest and sovereignty would be violated due to an ‘invasion’ by this World Police Force. Westphalian sovereignty lays at the heart of the issue as many states would be unwilling to give up access to their jurisdiction. A dualist government under treaty would be agreeing to pass and enforce legislation by which their lands could be entered in to by a World Police Force if there was reason to believe international law was being broken. While a monoist government who accepts international law as their own laws would fall under the immediate jurisdiction of the World Police.

The next question becomes the acceptance of what international laws a World Police Force could enforce. Would a collection of ideas codified by the United Nations be enough to build a legal case on upon the capture of international criminals? The binding aspect of national laws are not questioned when an officer makes an arrest and an accused begins his way through a states justice system. International law does not have that privilege as it isn’t really seen as law without any ability to enforce or persecute individuals or states that break it. Often the only times international laws are followed or enforced are where state domestic interests are at stake, but the independence of a World Police Force would look beyond such interests for the sake of justice.

The sources of international law have stemmed from the idea of agreements between nations and the consent of the states involved in the treaty making process and has not been by police or court systems. But again as an independent body, a World Police Force could in theory stay out of international politics and remain an objective player by operating at an arms length away from any national government including the United Nations.

Without any outside pressure and influence many states will continue to use children in various ways to achieve their goals. Many world states will not become involved in such conflicts if there is no immediate domestic interest in the state using child soldiers. With between 200,000 and 300,000 children being used in international conflicts around the world the United Nations has failed in its efforts to protect these children. The slow moving Bureaucracy of statues and protocols passed by the United Nations is continuing to allow children all over the world to suffer at the hands of militant leaders who use them.

The world needs to create a World Police Force with enough power and support from the richest nations to be able to combat this world crime and other international law issues. By agreeing to be policed by an independent force many nations would be able to stand behind their convictions against the use of child soldiers. Authorizations to collect information through the various modern means of surveillance and satellite imagery would allow a World Police Force to adapt and enforce these international laws.

The many issues of national sovereignty and non-interference would have to be agreed upon for the common good of all peoples. Persecution of criminals charged with the use of child soldiers would happen in the International Criminal Court and the children used in armed conflicts would have a chance at a normal life. The underlying cause of child soldiers continues to be based in economic, social and educational issues. Funding to provide help, economic, and social stability would need to come from the international community.

Much of what I have discussed has been within the realm of theory and needs to be looked at in an introspective light of how child soldiers are used in conflicts. Is it worth the time, effort, and money needed to create a World Police Force for the lives of these children? Or is it just a pipe dream that will never come into existence because of the effort needed will out weigh the benefits that any state could perceive for their own good? With the current pace of involvement from international organizations and concerned governments it may take many more decades before something substantial happens for the lives of these children.

I know its a long deep hard read but I'm proud of you for coming this far. I know some of you are going to see shades of the world government in this and condemn me for being supportive of the antichrist. That's ok.

The Beast.

From Theresa, via email

2008-06-14T11:17:00.000-06:00

I thought this was hilarious, leave it to Theresa!

Aging????

Happy Birthday to Bill.
Happy Birthday to Bill
Happy Birthday dear Biiiiiiilllllllllll,
Happy Birfthday to youuuuuuu.
..............there....now I don't have to waste money on a card.
theresa

Canada apologizes

2008-06-11T15:08:00.001-06:00

Text of Harper's residential schools apology

The Globe and Mail

PM cites 'sad chapter' in apology for residential schools

Hundreds gather to hear Harper's apology

TheStar.com | Canada | Harper officially apologizes for native residential schools

Given the text of what Prime Minister Stephen Harper said, I'm happy with what he said.

Thank you. The Beast.

Leaderpost? You bumped coverage on your homepage of "The Apology" for carrie underwood? For Shame!

An Angel

2008-05-12T21:51:00.001-06:00

She was a black women. I'd never seen her before. She had never seen me before either. We knew nothing about each other. She lived in a retirement home. I was a young man working for a local courier company. She needed the new walker I was bringing to her. I needed the money the small company was paying me. She looked at me and said, "You remind me of my Son. He worked little jobs for little pay. He stopped and went to university." I looked at her, smiled politely and replied, "I'm sure your Son was a very smart young man, but university isn't for me." When I was younger I didn't believe I was university material - smart, able to learn, aspiring to know. I pretty much accepted that I would be a labourer all my life and was willing to accept that. It wasn't until some massive changes happened that I began to wonder about the possibility of going back to school, the loss of a great job, the loss of my home to fire, the inability to earn a living wage. I don't know who she was or why she said what she did, but I do know that it stuck with me for a long time and helped to point me in the right direction. Her final words to me as I left still encourage me - even though she knew nothing of me she still wanted me to succeed, "You do remind me of my Son. He was smart, and I can see you are smart. Go back to school."

Keep on loving each other as brothers. Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it. Hebrews 13:1-2

How Could You Timmies? That's Just Mean!

2008-05-08T15:30:00.001-06:00

So this lady works at Tim Horton's for 3 years and one days she gets fired because she gives a baby a Timbit! A Timbit for crying out loud! To a baby who may have been crying out loud!

Ms. Lilliman, who has worked at the store for three years, said she thought little of the incident since Timbits are often doled out to dogs and children. She said the baby was about 11 months old, and she gave her the treat to quiet her, since her mother — a Tims' regular — had been "having a bad day.

Just after giving away thousands of prizes such as Tim Cards, Free Coffee's, Free Donuts I would think that a free Timbit wouldn't break any ones bank, but I guess Mister Penny Pincher had a different Idea! And to top it all off, it was a group decision of three managers who called her in and after reviewing video tape didn't give her a warning but out and out fired her.

Sigh... After three years of service this one thoughtful act which could have been a positive influence on a long time regular customer turned into one huge PR nightmare for Tim Horton's! Honestly, I can count the number of times I've been given something free from Timmies on one hand after many years of going there and I must say - that isn't very much. I think Safeway and Sobeys have given me more in free sample taste tests.

When did the bottom line become so important that even babies are not immune to the selfish and greedy aspects of capitalism? You know what they should do? Have a free Timbit day! With every purchase or visit simply give away a Timbit or two! PR problem solved!

globeandmail.com: Tim Hortons rehires fired woman

Three Videos of Jim Felix, First Nations Gospel Singer

2008-04-29T02:13:00.004-06:00

Growing up Jim Felix was one of my favorite singers and I loved his tapes and preaching. I always looked forward to him coming to our little church in the middle of nowhere (what better place for a Light House?) and was totally floored when I got to play drums with him the first time.

Wonderful To Stand

'Wonderful To Stand' was the song I first started learning drums too and always remember practicing the rolls in the song trying to get them right. While I was never a very good drummer and soon gave up the hobby, drumming with Jim Felix is one of my favorite memories.

Always On My Mind

I remember going down to the States with my Church one week and having a tape of Jim's in my pocket as we walked into a huge mall somewhere in either Montana or South Dakota and finding the auto audio display and getting the idea to play his tape in a deck. I turned it up nice and loud and I remember my Pastor coming over to me and telling me she was way on the other side of the store (something like a huge Wal-mart) and racing over because she thought Jim was in the Store.

Hold On

I sure wish I could grab some of his CD's now.

They're Happy Memories.

Guillermo Habacuc Vargas is a Genius

2008-04-27T11:53:00.005-06:00

Do you know the guy I'm thinking off? Most of you will, you've received the forwards and the emails and watched the Youtube videos - an artist named Guillermo Habacuc Vargas allegedly put a show in where a stray dog was tied to a rope in a bare room on a bare floor with no food nor water until it starved to death. Of course the usual bleeding hearts are out in full force for this one because it gives them something to focus on. Online petitions are being emailed back and forth, action groups are being created, news of this horrendous act is traveling quickly in this modern age of communication.
At first glace it is horrible and the different stories circulating around the art exhibit vary, some say the dog was in fact cared for, others say the dog was only barely cared for until it escaped, and of course the main story that the poor street dog was simply starved to death. But there was little evidence to support the dog actually dying of starvation, the director of the art gallery where it happened claims the dog was well cared for and that it simply escaped in the night. Press coverage around the event was inconclusive and did not ascertain whether or not the dog died. It was after this limited coverage that brought people to their feet demanding action.
It started me wondering about how I view stray animals I find when I'm out and about, usually I simply tell myself - 'someone else's problem'. I don't call the Humane Society, or try to take the animal home, or even try to toss it a piece of food. Walking or driving I don't have the time to stop and deal with the odd stray because I have people to visit, places to see - you know what I'm saying? And besides, we have people who deal with strays for a living don't we?
But now, shown an evil video forwarded to me on Facebook I can sign a petition to show my outrage at how this poor animal was treated. In a far off land. Sign it. I feel better about myself. I've done something to improve the world. My signature proves it. Yep, Good as gold. Or at least dog food and water. Next time I see a stray where ever here happens to be I'm sure I'll call it in, toss it some food, or even take it home because Hey! I signed a petition!

When was the last time you looked in your backyard and cleaned something up instead of looking over the fence?

Who or What is an Indian?

2008-04-21T14:50:00.008-06:00

I was born an Indian. My mother was Sioux and my father was Cree, since I was raised by the Cree side of my family I consider myself Cree. Being a Cree Indian I grew up for a number of years on a First Nation named Cowessess which is south of the Qu’appelle Valley right by Crooked Lake. I attended an Indian residential school, and all my friends were also Indians. But how do I really know I’m an Indian? The government of Canada issues me a certificate of Indian status card that states I am, and Indian within the meaning of the Indian act, chapter 27, statues of Canada (1985). For no other nationality does Canada do this, there is no ‘European card’, nor any ‘Japanese card’, or any other type of card for that matter. So why can’t I simply be an Indian just by declaring I am just like every other group of people in Canada and what is the definition of an Indian?
When the Europeans first sailed across the Atlantic Ocean there were expecting to find a water route to India. The fine silks and exotic spices added a new dimension to European lifestyle, but there was only the long treacherous land route, or the dangerous waterway around the Cape of Africa. Both routes had their share of dangers and the European countries wanted a quicker safer route to the East. So in 1492 when Columbus sailed in search of India he wasn’t expecting to find an entire continent blocking his path.
It was on this continent where he first came into contact with the people of the New World, fittingly because he thought he had found India he named them – Indians. It did not matter that the people of the New World had names for themselves such as The Aztecs or The Mayans, it was the name that the Europeans came to know and use. As the years passed and more European nations became involved in the explorations of this New World it was realized that this was not India but was in fact a new land, filled with Indians.
Many different tribes or nations made up the population that the European explorers met as they continued their expansion west ward. Spain laid claim to massive areas of land in spite of the Pope issuing a Papal Bull of 1455 to Portugal called the Romanus Pontifex, which “granted the exclusive “right” to conquer and enslave all “pagen” nations – and to seize their lands” without regard to the rights of the Indian people already living there. France and England also joined the race to the New World seeking to establish colonies under orders from their Sovereign so they too could exploit the great lands. It seemed that to the European nations the Indian people of the New World were only getting in the way of their progress.
So rules were made to define and encase the Indian into a European formula that would be quick and easy to understand. Instead of independent nations, they became dependant nations – instead of having their own territory, they had land reserved for the Indian, and instead of having all of the rights to their land they were told they only had Aboriginal Right to the land. During each attempt to define and subdue the Indian people of North America the Indian people resisted and, “fought to remain distinct and respected in the face of centuries of immigration and displacement”. This process was begun in 1763 with the declaration of the Royal Proclamation by King George III and still continues to today.
The Royal Proclamation established rules as to who the Indian people could sell their lands to, namely the Crown and not to private citizens. This was put in place to ensure the Indian lands were not unlawfully gained by crooked land speculators at a deflated value. While the idea was laudable in and of itself it only uncovered the paternalistic attitude the Europeans had for the Indian people – that is to say that they could not handle their own affairs or obtain a fair price for their lands if left to a free market. It also set up the idea of the Indian reservation where Indians could live, hunt and fish without being molested by west ward moving settlers giving Indians the protection of the Crown. Because the land could no longer be sold on the free market the Indians now had to deal directly with the Crown and this, “set the stage for land surrender treaties signed by the Indians and the Crown”.
As treaties were signed, first with the Crown of Britain the with the United States of America, a change in the Indian Euro-American relationship began to happen as state law and The Constitution of the United States started to have an impact on the Indian people. Namely the Chief Justice Marshall cases of the Supreme Court of the US continued the process of defining and capsulation the Indian people. In 1831 the Cherokee Nation took their case with the State of Georgia to the Supreme Court to stop Georgia from passing laws concerning Cherokee lands. In their case they maintained that “the Cherokee nation of Indians, a foreign state, not owing allegiance to the United States, nor to any state of this union, nor to any prince, potentate or state, other than their own” still believing that they were in fact separate from the US government. In this respect Marshall disagreed, preferring to define the Cherokee Indians as a denominated domestic dependent nation and stripping them of their right to sue the government based on his interpretation of the constitution. The next case would restore some of the Cherokee’s autonomy.
The outcome of the case of Worcester v. Georgia left the Cherokee with a piece of their sovereignty in word if not in practice. With this case the Indian people would now deal with the United States government and not state governments with matters concerning sovereignty. The treaties that were signed between the distinct nations meant that only Congress had the power to deal with issues concerning Indian people. With the state no longer having control over the Indian lands a clear separation happened between the two peoples. It was the creation of another level of government that was a domestic dependant nation but to which the state had no control over. It was this reasoning and legal aspects that would flow up into Canada as Canada became a nation and had to deal with their own Indian question.
With in the nation of Canada there are also a great number of Indian bands, most falling under the jurisdiction of the Canadian Indian Act. The creation of the Indian Act in 1876 was first of all simply a matter of a “consolidation of various pieces of existing federal and colonial statues. The essential thrust of the legislation was to centralize and codify all legislation and to solidify the position of natives as wards of the state”. Again the issue of power and control over the Indian people was at the fore front of a nation’s legislation, this time clearly defining the role of the government and the role of the Indian. Firstly as a ward of the state subject to every whim of the Indian agent put in charge, and secondly a definition of who an Indian was that would change through the years.
We have established through European law that Indians are not allowed to sell their lands on the free market but rather can only deal with the crown to surrender lands. Also they have been defined as a dependant nation which deals with the crown on a nation to nation basis. This ensures that individual states or provinces do not abuse the Indian and the land reserved for Indians but rather the central government act in the best interests of the band. The definitions made it easy for the government to control the Indians and obtain their lands, but it also limited the power of these nations. Formally they were trusted guides, astute traders and welcomed warriors to European forces but now all that had changed. The Indian identity had changed.
The Indian Act of 1876 set up the rules for how the Indian people were to be treated by the Canadian government and while they still maintained a relationship with the Crown their independence was taken away to be replaced with dependence and permission on their Indian Agency which, “each Indian agency was under the control of an Indian agent whose duties varied according to shifts in policy emphasis, geography, and degree of resistance on the part of the Indians under their control”. It was no longer the Indian State that was protected but rather the individual Indian who was put in a state of being a dependant ward. And this individual Indian now had a definition to help the federal government declare who was an Indian for the first time, “any male person of Indian blood reputed to belong to a particular band, any child of such person and any woman who is or was lawfully married to such a person”. Now, not only was an Indian a ward of the state and bound by a definition according to federal legislation their entire life on their reserve was ruled by this Indian Act. It was under this act that the federal government first began issuing the Certificate of Indian Status as proof of Indian status.
After the implementation of the Indian Act further erosion of the Indian identity was happening, not only were their political powers being ruled over but their cultural ceremonies were also banned. In 1895, “with the passage of section 114, the repression of ceremonial life became an integral part of the implementation of Indian policy” and traditional ways of life and ceremony such as the Sundance and the Potlatch came to an end. Or rather, should have came to an end but the Indian people of the prairies chose to write letters to Ottawa, continue to hold the Sundance in secret or in spite of the Indian Agents insistence it be stopped, and worked out negations to continue to Sundance.
Other problems were created by the Indian Act including not allowing an Indian to appear off reserve to in traditional garb unless permission from the Indian Agent was given. Also just being off reserve created a problem as many reserves were run under what was known as ‘the pass’ system, unless the Indian had a pass from the Indian agent he or she could be arrested and forcibly taken back to their reserve. These were rules that the Indian people both tried to live by and also broke when the need arose. Since ceremonies were an important aspect of being an Indian which included being able to travel to other tribes and being able to dress in traditional garb the ceremonies were fought for and continued to be fought for until 1951 when the Indian Act was revised.
With the revisions of the 1951 Indian Act these oppressive measures against Indian ceremonies were repealed and the Indian people were once again allowed to practice their religious beliefs without fears of reprisals from the federal government. But for the Indian people this would not be the end of their struggle for identity as new measures for their assimilation through education began to take place. The residential school program began at the turn of the century with the motto of, “kill the Indian in him and save the man”. The poor living conditions and rampant health problems took many of the Indian children’s lives. It has been well documented that the level of physical and sexual abuse the happened in these schools had a detrimental effect on generations of Indian youth.
These conditions continued on into the 1960’s when the government decided that forced attendance would now be required of all Indian youth to hasten the assimilation process. The children were taken away from their parents, family, and culture to a place where they would be taught about living life the way a White Canadian would. Again the Indian people tried to step in to defend who they were and their way of life as an elder from Manitoulin Island said, “We love our religion and are very much opposed to the public system of education being foisted upon us. We wish to keep religion in our schools as we have always had it from the beginning”. But police, threats of imprisonment and the legal right to take the children away from their home forced many parents with no choice but to let their children go. The Canadian Residential School Legacy is without a doubt the worst act in Canadian history and the darkest period of Indian and Crown relations. It left behind a wake of physically and sexually abused emotional scarred youth, who came back to the reserve not knowing anything about how to live on the reserve.
Again, fighting against this loss of identity the Indian people stood their ground by binding together and creating political organizations to fight for their treaty rights and speak out with one voice to the government of Canada. Declaring themselves to be First Nations rather then Indian Bands, Indian political organizations such as the Federation of Saskatchewan Indian Nations (FSIN) and the Assembly of First Nations (AFN) the First Nations people began demanding and accreting their rights. They called for Indian control of Indian education, self-government, and the power to control their own membership and fought to get their Aboriginal rights entrenched into the Constitution of Canada (1982) under section 35(1).
While the Indian Act today still has power and jurisdiction over the Indian people, our rights are being recognized more and more through both Supreme Court Decisions, Federal policy changes (i.e. The Royal Commission on Aboriginal People), and negotiation between First Nations and the Government of Canada. We are as Indian people coming to a place where we are able to define ourselves without the interference of another state. So then, what is an Indian? Is the Canadian definition as valid today as was a hundred years ago? They may have got it right when they issued the status card to the first Indians on the reserve but our identity is so much more then being bound up in that little card. We are clearly a race that believes in ourselves and asserts our right to live and be free. We as Indian people are free to define ourselves and must be able to since we are peppered across such a huge island and are as diverse as any multitude of European nations. We have fought to stay distinct and not be swallowed up into the Canadian multicultural ideology but protected our status as the first people. We are a people of tradition and of culture who love to celebrate all aspects of life and family from birth to death. It would be easy to finish by saying an Indian is part of a race of people who resisted and fought 300 years of oppression and our history would agree with that. But to answer the core of the question after looking at the history of the Indian resistance a big part of any Indian definition would have to be – we are surviving people, we are still here.

What were you doing in 1985?

2008-04-18T20:01:00.001-06:00

These people made a cherry coke commercial!

Psalm 22

2008-04-17T03:03:00.001-06:00

One thing I’ve learned about David was his honesty with God. It didn’t matter that everything around him was going wrong, that he didn’t know what to do, or that his cries were unanswered. What mattered was his honesty before God. One thing people often forget about honesty before God is that we must be honest with ourselves, and sometimes that’s the greatest pain of all. To be honest with yourself means no mask to hide behind – to simply be you. But David held no mask before the Lord, and his honesty rang true to the heart of God. Had the Lord forsaken him? No, but it felt like it. David was promised a kingdom yet he was driven into the wilderness with his men to live in caves and eat what ever they could find. How did he react to the trouble he was forced into? By maintaining that God would vindicate him – and even though he would have been able to seize the throne twice by killing Saul, he refused to. Because in all his trouble, he would rather trust in his God.God isn’t afraid of your anger – he gave you your emotions. He does want you know your emotions, and to be able to express them honestly and respectfully in good time and in bad times. Pain? Talk to the Lord about it and let him know how you feel, but don’t forget, David’s song doesn’t end with bitterness or anger. It goes on to talk about the remembrance of who God is and what he has done and ends with praises of a God of salvation.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent. Psalm 22:1-2

Is there something you need to be honest with God about?

Wall's reversal on funding pleases mayors

2008-04-16T16:46:00.004-06:00

One has to wonder about the timing of this announcement for a quarter of a billion dollars after what Wall has been though with the whole Video affair. It certainly casts a good light around him as he has bactracked on an issue that just a couple days ago said there wasn't any more money for municipalities. Not only will it please alot of mayors around the province but it will be seen a positive action being taken that will affect a great number of people from city crews to home owners who will likely not see another tax increase. But I guess in the end it doensn't matter how you look at it because it is a great announcement that alot of people need.

Good for you Brad Wall, we now know how to squeeze benefits from you.

Stress Relief...

2008-04-12T12:29:00.001-06:00

Alpha the dog preferred to the name Bravo and Charlie a former member of the Delta force liked to Echo the sentiment. While Foxtrot the cat like to watch Golf from a Hotel bed in India where Juliet bought a Kilo of Lima beans for Mike last November. Now, Oscar the Papa of the family lived in Quebec where he tried to be a Romeo while his wife lived in Sierra. She liked to Tango in her nurses Uniform with Victor the Whiskey drinking X-ray specialist who was a Yankee that like to speak Zulu.

Remember, "My Pet Monster!"

2008-04-10T18:49:00.002-06:00

It had to be one of the best short lived cartoons of my childhood! I'm gonna go dat-a-way now, just like the sign says...

Perhaps Harper wants out of politics...

2008-04-09T00:29:00.001-06:00

Maybe Stephen Harper really doesn't want a majority government. Maybe he is pestering for an election so that he can lose to the All Powerful Liberal Party, hold a leadership convention regarding his own leadership, then step down as party leader so he may return to the life of a hockey dad! Indeed the good practice that his son receives playing the game has made Stephen remark, "It's important to me because it's important to him,". Do we collectively remember the first day Stephen let his kids off for school? There was no family hug, no warm smile, no ruffling of the hair but rather a firm handshake. I don't know and I'm no expert but I'm sure that is a sign of family stress.

Ever since last October poor Stephen has been trying to get out of the stress laden job of leading one of the worlds largest nations. After being hammered on all sides concerning Afghanistan, the environment, Taxes, and many other issues our poor leader must simply being brimming full of lots of breakdown goodness and simply aching to be relieved of his duties. I'm simply sure that the current Wall and Lukiwiski Affair which overshadowed poor Stephens show over at the NATO meeting (not sure what he did), is a huge breaking point which may push our poor leader over the edge. After all why else would he be even considering running to the Governor General to ask her to dissolve parliament over three committees which are having problems communicating. Three committees out of over two dozen that is.

So maybe we're all just being paranoid at the idea that a right wing majority government would be the end of Canadian society as we know it simply because good ol' Harper is planning to throw the election campaign so bad that his party has no choice but to toss him out. Thus giving him more time to spend with his family, hugs and all, watch hockey and just be a regular Joe like the rest of us.